


Meet the Sugawaras

by snowbunny23



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, I guess minor Yamaguchi Tadashi/ Tsukishima Akiteru, I probably should have added that tag sooner, Karasuno is basically one big family, M/M, While You Were Sleeping AU, and lots of family love, but it's not real, minor blood in first chapter but nothing big
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 03:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4903084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowbunny23/pseuds/snowbunny23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukkiyama “while you were sleeping” AU. </p>
<p>Ever since Tadashi's father died five years ago he has been without a family. But an unfortunate incident leaves Tadashi not just with a chance for another family, but also a chance to marry the man he’s been admiring from afar for weeks. Most of the Sugawaras seem to be thrilled and welcome him with open arms… all except one of his brothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so here is my first fic in YEARS. Like seriously I’m so scared to post it, but well I’m trying? lol. 
> 
> So just a few notes. This is a “while you were sleeping” AU. (If you haven’t seen it, you should. I mean you don’t have to, but it’s on netflix and Sandra Bullock is so awkward and cute in it.) Unlike the movie I’m going to focus more on the family aspect. There will be a lot of Tsukkiyama, but I’m mostly writing this for the Karasuno family. They are such a cute “family” and well, how can I pass up writing old, married couple daisuga?
> 
> Since I am playing around with their ages, I’m just going to give them to you now. 
> 
> The Family 
> 
> Daichi/ Suga - parents (in their late 40’s in this fic)  
> Shouyou - Youngest son of Daichi and Suga and the first child they adopted (adopted when he was a few months old, 18 years old in this fic)  
> Hitoka - Daughter of Daichi and Suga and their youngest (adopted when she was about a year old, 16 years old)  
> Kei - Son of Daichi and Suga (adopted when he was 8 years old, 24 years old in the fic)  
> Akiteru - Son of Daichi and Suga (adopted when he was 14 years old, 30 years old in the fic)  
> Asahi - Suga’s brother, married to Noya  
> Tanaka - Daichi “almost” brother-in-law, but Daichi and Suga still see him family. So the kids consider him an uncle. 
> 
> Oh, and fair warning the first blond guy Yams “falls” for is not Kei. But this is definitely a Tsukkiyama fic. If you’ve seen while you were sleeping you probably understand what I’m saying. Okay, enjoy! And please be nice. I’m just as fragile as Yams is in this fic.

“Yamaguchi, let’s go! We have a line here!” Takeda said from behind a large coffee machine that was clearly being overworked. Takeda meant well, he really did. He just could be a bit flustered during the morning rush.

“Sorry, sorry” Yamaguchi quickly threw his apron on and ran behind the counter.

“Non-fat latte and a blueberry muffin,” a nameless customer said as soon as he got in front of the register. Due to the rush (and the thought of starting off at the register), Tadashi’s hand started shaking. Being the quiet, shy person he was, Tadashi didn’t exactly favor large groups of people, especially when most of them were waiting to talk to him.

“Yes, sir. Anything else?” he said with a shaky voice. Instead of answering him the stranger just handed him a credit card. Apparently whatever he was looking at on his phone was more important than replying.

Tadashi was fully prepared to get the man out of line as fast as possible since he was clearly in a rush, but when he looked up to grab his card something else happened. In that moment everything seemed to stand still. The crowd behind him became quiet and disappeared. At least in Tadashi’s vision. The man had golden blond hair and the most kind eyes he’s ever seen, even when they weren’t looking at him.

Many moments must have gone by because the man finally looked up at him when he noticed his card was still in his hand. “Um… Are you okay?”

Tadashi blinked once. “...Oh! Yes! I’m so sorry!” he said quickly taking the card and swiping it. It’s not like Tadashi didn’t see cute guys in the coffee shop all the time… it was just that there was something about this one. _Nice eyes._ That was always Tadashi’s downfall. Sure, he was obviously handsome in other ways, but if a man had kind looking eyes he was a goner.

But after giving the card back his eyes didn’t met Tadashi’s again. He got his coffee from Takeda and was out the door, leaving Tadashi’s life as quickly as he walked in.

Or so Tadashi thought.

The next morning he was back. And the next. And the next. Tadashi got used to seeing him everyday. Or at least everyday he was working. It was probably the most enjoyable part of his day. Even when he wasn’t at the register and didn’t get to ask for his drink order. On those days it was enough to just to see him.  

It was silly, Tadashi knew. But it was still special to him. For him to see the handsome stranger everyday and wish him a good day (which he starting doing everyday after that initial contact). It could never turn into anything. He was someone important, who wore a suit everyday and was always on his phone. Tadashi still worked at the coffee shop he has worked at for the past six years and was too scared to go after his dream, even with everything in arm's reach.

But still, Tadashi would think about what it would be like if maybe they did fall in love. One day he would walk in, look straight into his eyes and realize Tadashi was the one for him. Or maybe he would just ask him out one day and they would slowly fall in love over the the course of many dates. He would meet his family and they would all love him, too. They would start planning the wedding before they were even engaged. All the cliche family stuff.

But that was never going to happen. That wasn’t Tadashi’s life.

For now it was just something Tadashi could look forward to and smile about.

 

***

 

“No, no, no”

“Please?” Takeda begged (Tadashi stopped him from getting on his knees, but that didn’t stop the pleas).

“No! I worked Christmas last year!” Tadashi tried to walk away, but his boss grabbed his arm.

“Please!” Takeda said once more, but bending over to bow this time. Tadashi turned around, knowing he would say yes if he kept looking at his boss like this.

“Why don’t you just close the shop? No one will come in that day anyways.”

“Tried that. My boss's boss said it had to say open. Something about somewhere for people to go once the family fights start up.”

“Sounds like an optimist.”

“Please!” Takeda said, bowing again. Every year Takeda used this on him. If it was anyone else Tadashi would have been out the door after the first “no”, but over the years Takeda has become the closest thing to a friend Tadashi had.

Tadashi took a deep breathe. “This isn’t fair.”

“I know,” Takeda replied, standing up straight again. “But I have my in-laws coming into town. I’ve tried to ask others but they’ve already have plans and you’re the only one…” Takeda looked down, probably trying to find another way to end the sentence.

“I’m the only one without a family.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“I’ll do it.” Tadashi just wanted his boss to stop talking about his lack of relationships.

“Really?! Thank you so much! I promise you will not have to work New Year’s.”

“Aren’t we closed New Year's?” He asked, but Takeda was already walking out the door.

“Time to close up! Let’s go!” Tadashi decided just to let it go as he grabbed his stuff and walked out the door.

It was already 10:30 pm by the time Tadashi made it home, but he wasn’t tired. Instead of going to bed he walked into the tiny one bedroom apartment he’s lived in since his father died five years ago, grabbed a book, and submerged into another world.

It was his escape. Sure, he may be alone, with little to no friends, no family alive or worth his time, nor school to him distract anymore, but at least he had an escape that didn’t leave him addicted or broke, well maybe a little addicted. His life may seemed sad to everyone else, and it was hard for the most part, being alone, but he could deal with it because every second he wasn’t at work he could leave his world and travel to another, where much more exciting things would happen.

He’s been able to able to deal with everything, the death of his dad, his mother leaving him when he was three, the bullies, all because of his books. Dealing the characters’ problems seemed so much easier than dealing with his own.

Before his father got sick Tadashi started college with the hope of one day opening his own bookstore so he could constantly be surrounded by his book and share his way of escaping with many others who needed to leave their world for a little bit. But of course, that didn’t happen.

Tadashi’s father got sick at the end of his 1st year in college, but he wouldn’t let Tadashi drop out. He was determined to help his son get a college degree and open his bookstore. The winter break of his second year was spent completely in the hospital. And a few days after New Year’s his father passed away and Tadashi was officially an orphan, or an adult orphan now that he was 19 years old.

A few weeks before his father passed Tadashi seriously considered leaving college to spend as much time as he could with his dad, but after it became a welcomed distracted. He didn’t want to think about how much he missed him, or how horrible his mother was for leaving him all alone. With school and his part-time job at Takeda’s coffee shop keeping him busy he got through his last years in college and graduated with a degree in business.  

But after graduation Tadashi didn’t quit the coffee shop. Instead he asked Takeda if he could start working full-time.

It wasn’t like Tadashi couldn’t open his bookstore. He had the knowledge now. And his father’s life insurance left him with more than enough to start the work. But the thought of opening this bookstore, his dream, without his father made him sick. His father played such a large part in his schooling and he was the only one who really believed he could do. He was the only person Tadashi had. And he couldn’t do it now. Not alone.

So instead of coming home to work on his plans for opening the bookstore, he grabbed a book, and escaped far, far away from his world where everything felt so much better.

 

***

 

One perk of being the only person in the coffee shop on that Christmas day was that Tadashi could read without being interrupted or fired (not that Takeda would do that). It had been open for about five hours already and only four customers have walked in, all of which were carrying presents and obviously heading to meet their loved ones. Well it could be worst. At least he was getting paid to read, which he would be doing at home anyways.

Tadashi was absorbed in a particularly good book. He had just started the book last night, but he was already close to the end. Maybe that was why he didn’t hear the door to the shop open, or the polite, soft cough of the man trying to get his attention.

“Um, excuse me?”

Tadashi jumped. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t hear-” He couldn’t  finish his sentence because standing in front of him was his crush, the man he’s been silently admiring for the past two month. So of course he couldn’t talk… or think. He just stood there with his mouth slightly open staring at the stranger.

“It’s fine. Peppermint mocha please.” He gave him one quick smile then grabbed his phone from his coat. He was texting someone today, probably family.

“Yes, sir.” Tadashi got to working on his drink. It didn’t look like the man was heading to work. He was dressed casually today, jeans and a green sweater. He looked nice, Tadashi decided, cozy, comfortable, content. Anything that started with a C. Cuddlesome. Just what Christmas was supposed to be like.

Tadashi gave him his drink. He was about to “Have a good day” like always when the man beat him to the punch. “Merry Christmas” he said walking out the door.

Again Tadashi brain was left blank. He was able to give a weak “You, too” just as he closed the door. _He finally talked to me_ , Tadashi thought. _And I wasn’t even able to reply properly._ He let his body slump against the register. Well at least he got to see him on Christmas. Perk number two of working today.

Tadashi grabbed him book that fell to the floor earlier and got back to reading. But before he could fully enter the book’s world he heard shouting from outside.

“Give it to me! Now!”

“Okay, I don’t want trouble.” That was the handsome stranger’s voice.

“Hey don’t move your hands! Stop moving!” Then Tadashi heard a struggle. Before he even realized what he was doing Tadashi grabbed the taser Takeda kept under the counter, hidden so no one could see it, and ran out the door. He got there just in time to see one of the masked men dressed in all black throw the man to the ground. Hard.

“Hey! Get away from him!” Tadashi showed the taser, hoping they would focus more on the object in his hand than his terrified expression.

“Grab the wallet!” One of them said.

Tadashi didn’t like the idea of them grabbing at him. “Stop!” he said running towards them.

Finally they got the idea and fled the scene. Tadashi rushed over to the man on the sidewalk. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.” His hands were starting to shake. There was blood coming from his head. That’s all Tadashi could see. Blood. “Sir, are you wake? Can you open your eyes?”

The man’s eyes fluttered open, but then closed just as fast.

“Fuck” Tadashi whispered as he got his phone out and dialed 119 with trembling hands.

 

***

 

When Tadashi got to the hospital he was still shaking, which seemed to fit the atmosphere. Doctors, nurses, injured people were all around him, moving frantically.

He dashed over the nurse’s desk. Tadashi spoke quickly “Hi, I’m looking for a man who just came in. He has blond hair and is wearing a green sweater and-”

“What’s his name?” the nurse asked calmly.

“I don’t know. But he should have just gotten-”

“You don’t know his name?”

“No, but you see I know him from-” Just then Tadashi saw him threw a glass wall that separated them. He was laying on a stretcher and seemed to still be unconscious. Tadashi gave up talking to the nurse and started to walk towards him.

“Wait, you can’t go in there.” But Tadashi didn’t care. He needed to make sure he was okay.

One doctor had other plans though. “Excuse me, but you’re not allowed in there,” he said holding up an arm to stop Tadashi.

“But you don’t get it. I need to make sure he’s-”

“Are you family?”

“No, but-”

“I’m sorry, family only.”

“Okay, but I just need to-”

“Sorry that’s hospital policy.” The doctor walked away, leaving Tadashi with a frown and hands that still couldn’t stay still.

“You don’t get it,” Tadashi whispered, thinking no was listening, “I was going to spend my life with him.”

 

***

 

Tadashi couldn’t believe there was someone as nice as the nurse leading him to his crush right now. The automatic doors to the ICU opened. “But I don’t get it, why are you doing this for me?”

The nurse gave him a small smile. “I saw you when you came in for him and well I just couldn’t let you not see him. He would want you there.”

She was an angel. She had to be. Tadashi was lead to a room where he saw the man unconscious on a bed. There were tubes and machines everywhere and a beeping sound that Tadashi knew was tracking his heart rate. It all reminded him of his father five years ago. Tadashi shook his head. No, he couldn’t think about that right now.

The nurse lead Tadashi to a chair right next to him. “He’s unconscious, but you can talk to him. I’m sure he would like that.”

“Okay, thank you.” It seemed the nurse wanted to give them some privacy so she left the room.

“Um, Hi,” Tadashi said awkwardly. He took a second to really look at him now. There was a bandage wrapped around his head and a bruise on his right cheek. Tadashi was scared for him. So he did what he would want someone else to do for him if he was in this situation. He grabbed his hand gently and softly whispered, “Everything is going to be okay.”

Everything felt content again. Of course he knew it wasn’t. The man was in a hospital bed with a major head injury, but at least he was safe now.

After a few moment another doctor walked into the room. “Hello, I am Doctor Hamasaki.”

“Um, hello. I’m Yamaguchi. I’m... um…”

“His fiancé, I know. It’s okay. I may be old but I believe love knows no gender,” the doctor said with a kind smile.

Tadashi eyes got large. “His…?” But he didn’t get a chance to question the doctor, nor calm his himself down before a crowd of people came rushing into the room.

“Where is my son?! I want to see my boy!”

“Daichi, calm down. He’s over here. Shouyou, deep breaths. If you’re going to get sick the restrooms are to the right.”

“He looks so pale! He’s not going to die, is he? I’m too young to lose a brother!”

“What’s going on here? Who are you all?” The doctor asked.

“This is our son!” A tall man with dark hair said.

“Daichi, be nice to our son’s doctor!” Another man with silver blond hair said. “Is he going to be okay?”

“H- he’s not going to die, right?” A teenage girl asked nervously. Poor thing look just as scared as Tadashi felt.

“Of course he’s not! He can’t die!” A boy with orange hair shouted, then quickly grabbed his stomach and hunched over to hide behind one of his father who softly rubbed his son’s back. Apparently this Shouyou boy couldn’t take the sight of blood, even when it was covered with bandages.

“He has a head injury and he’s in a coma.” The doctor said as calmly as possible. Tadashi tried to slip out of the room, but there were too many people here now. There was no way he could get out without being noticed.

“What?! How did this happen?!” Daichi was back to shouting.

“He was mugged and pushed to the ground. It appears he hit his head pretty hard.” The teenage girl started to sob. Daichi put an arm around her. “But his vitals are good. His brain waves are steady. I think he’s going to be just fine,” The doctor continued. Tadashi could see the relief in both his fathers’ faces.

Just then a small man with somewhat wild hair came running into the room. While he was very short, his face alone made it clear Tadashi did not want to cross him.

“Who did this to my nephew?! Who hurt him?! Was it you?!” The man said while pointing a finger at Tadashi.

Once again Tadashi was scared silent (He really needed to work on that). Instead he just stared back with large, terrified eyes. Another tall man with long hair arranged up into a bun pulled him back. “Noya, calm down. If this was the guy who hurt him he wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Then who are you?!” A man with a shaved head said, making it a point to get into his personal space. Just when Tadashi thought he was safe.

“Yea, who are you?!” Noya said.

“I’m, um.... I’m…”

“He’s his fiancé,” the nurse said walking back into the room.

_Okay, just how many_ more _people can this room take?!_ Tadashi thought. His anxiety was getting to be too much.

“HIS WHAT?!” both Noya and the man with a shaved head screamed.

“Akiteru’s fiancé?” Daichi said while pointing to the man in the hospital bed with a confused face. Well it’s not like Tadashi could blame him. He was pretty confused himself.

“Our son’s engaged?”

“He’s gay?” Shouyou said. Everyone looked at him. “What? Did you all know?!”

“Why didn’t he tell us?” the man with silver hair said while starting to tear up.

“Maybe he was busy, Suga. He did just start that job a few month ago.”

“Too busy to tell his family he was engaged!?”

“Wait, is he going to be okay?! What happened?!” Noya asked. At least he didn’t want to kill Tadashi anymore.

“He was mugged and thrown to the ground,” the nurse explain to the newcomers. “He hit his head hard and is in a coma now, but we believe he’s going to recover... thanks to his fiancé. He stopped the muggers.”

_Okay, everyone needs to stop calling me his fiancé._

“You stopped the muggers?” Daichi asked.

Slowly Tadashi nodded. At least he didn’t have to lie about that. “Well, yes I did. But you see, I’m actually not-”

“Hey, you should not be in here!” It was the first doctor. The one wouldn’t let him see Akiteru when he first came in. “Doctor Hamasaki, he is not family.”

“He is family,” Suga said while walking over to Tadashi. All of the sudden he was in Suga’s arms. “Thank you for saving my son.”

But the hug didn’t stop with Suga. Soon he felt Daichi join in on the hug. “Welcome to the family,” Daichi said as Shouyou and the teenage girl hugged him too. Soon the hug consisted of everyone in the room, except the nurse and doctors. And all Tadashi could do was stand there and accept it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please come talk to me at snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They really weren’t making it easy for Tadashi to break the news to them. If only it was true. If only he really was engaged to their son. He wouldn’t just get Akiteru; he would get all of them. He would get a family. But that wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to be Shouyou’s brother. He wasn’t going to be Daichi and Suga’s son-in-law. When all this was over he would end up with just his small apartment full of books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much to everyone who left comments, kudos, and subscripted! You guys have no clue how much that means to me! I stopped writing for years and well coming back was little scary (very scary). But I’m so excited for this fic! 
> 
> Okay second chapter! So much Sugawara family love in this chapter! It feels so weird writing a Christmas/ New Year’s fic in October. Everyone is excited about Halloween and here I am talking about ugly Christmas sweater. Anyways Enjoy!!

Tadashi rushed out of Akiteru’s room. He couldn’t take it. This family was so nice. Too nice. Why were they being so nice to him? Oh right, they thought he was going to marry their son. How’d it turn out like this?

“Are you okay?” It was the angel nurse.

Tadashi shook his head. No, no he was definitely _not_ okay.  

“Was that the first time you’ve met his family?”

“I- I’m not engaged to him. I’ve never even talked to him really!” And let the panic attack begin.

“But downstairs… you said you were going to spend your life with him?” Now she was the one with a confused look.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I was just…” How do you explain your craziness to someone else?

Tadashi took a deep breath. He needed to calm down. He needed to correct this. “I need to tell them the truth,” he said with a sigh.

The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. I just heard you and really wanted to help.” Okay maybe she wasn’t an angel, but she meant well.

Tadashi smiled at her. “It’s okay. I’ll just go in there and set this all straight.” Tadashi turned to the room. “I’ll go in there… and break it to them that I’m not going to marry their son… who is currently in a coma… I mean I didn’t mean to trick them. It just kinda happened.” Tadashi couldn’t get his feet to move. “Hopefully the short guy won’t murder me. I mean he was just hugging me five minutes ago. You can’t murder someone you were just hugging, right?”

The nurse gave him a small pat on his back and walk towards the elevators.

_Deep breath and walk._

“Watch out! Shouyou this way.” Suga was pulling his son towards the bathroom. There was another nurse in the room now who was changing Akiteru’s bandages. Apparently that was Shouyou’s breaking point.

“You lasted longer than last time! Good job Shouyou!” Noya shouted.

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Oh yea, he tends to get sick when he sees blood, or any kind of injury, or when he’s nervous.” Tanaka replied.

“I’m not feeling too well either,” Asahi said.

Noya jumped out from his seat. “Shouyou hurry up!” He said while banging on the bathroom door. “My husband need the bathroom!”

“He should probably go somewhere else…” They heard Shouyou say weakly.

“Noyaaa”

Noya and Tanaka grabbed Asahi and ran out of the room.

Maybe he should wait… At least till no one was throwing up.

 

***

 

Past midnight and Tadashi was still in the waiting room. It was officially the longest day of his life.

In the past four hours Tadashi had tried three different times to tell the Sugawaras the truth. One time he was interrupted by the doctor. Another, Noya and Tanaka stopped listening when they noticed a cute nurse and tried to run after her. Daichi was able to stopped them with an intense scowl. The last time he thought he would just tell Daichi and Suga then sneak out. But for some reason Shouyou thought it would be fun to practice his volleyball receives against the hallway wall. (Did he always travel with a volleyball?) The ball ended up hitting Daichi in face, giving him a nosebleed, and lead to Shouyou getting in trouble with his parents. Each time it was getting harder and harder to tell them. So after awhile he just stopped trying.

Now the Sugawaras were all sitting in the waiting room. Shouyou was asleep with his head Suga’s lap, while Hitoka (Tadashi finally learned the name of the sobbing teenage girl) was asleep on Shouyou’s back. One of Suga’s arms covered both of them. But the other hand was being held by Daichi.

“Suga, maybe we should go home. We have to accept that he’s not going to wake up tonight. The doctor said it could be days or weeks.”

“Just half an hour more, Daichi.” But Suga didn’t look like he could handle another half hour. He was about to pass out, as well. Daichi didn’t argue though. He just sat next to his husband and let him rest his head on his shoulder.

Tadashi’s father always said he was more interested in observing than talking when meeting new people. That was probably true, especially now when he got to watch the Sugawaras. It may look like Suga was doing all the comforting, hold two of their children, but Daichi was there to comfort Suga. They were a true family. Even Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka stayed for them. It seemed like no one thought Akiteru was going to wake up tonight. It’s more about the emotional support of being in a hospital and worrying about their loved one together.

“So, tell us how you met,” Asahi said.

Tadashi mind started to race. Should he make up a story? Tell the truth? Run away in fear? The last option sounded most reasonable.

But Suga saved him. “Oh, Asahi. I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk about that now! His fiance’s in a hospital bed.”

Noya jumped at little in his seat. “Oh! Was it at the law firm? He just started a few months ago. I told him he was going to meet someone great there.”

“Um, no. But-”

“Did you ask him out or did he ask you? I bet you asked him. Akiteru has always been so picky when it comes to the people he dates. I’m not sure he’s ever asked anyone out actually. Has he told you about his exes? But then again you seem a little shy. Did you stammer when you asked him?”

Was he supposed to answer all of those questions?

“Noya, chill.” Daichi sounded like he’s said that a million times before.

“What made you like him?” They all turned to see Shouyou still resting on Suga’s lap, but with open eyes.

“When did you wake up?”

“During Noya’s interrogation.”

“You wanna sit up?” Suga asked while running a hand through his hair, probably trying to get him back to sleep. How old was Shouyou?

Shouyou shook his head. “Don’t wanna wake Hitoka up.” She was still fast asleep on Shouyou. “So, Yamaguchi, what made you first like Akiteru?”

Well at least he didn’t have to lie about that. “His eyes.” He answered while smiling. He shouldn’t be smiling now, not when he was talking about his fake fiancé, but there was no helping it. He still had a crush on the guy. “They’re so… friendly and gentle.”

Suga smiled like a proud parent. “That’s Akiteru.”

“He wasn’t always like that.”

“Shouyou!”

“What? He wasn’t! He didn’t even want to spend time with me when he first came! And I was a cute little kid back then! Kei was just as mean.”

“When he first came?” Tadashi asked before he couldn’t stop himself.

“He didn’t tell you about when him and Kei first came to live with Daichi and Suga?” Tanaka asked.

“Um… well” He was screwed. They were going to find out.

But Daichi interpreted him. “I’m not surprised. He doesn’t like to talk about it. That was a really difficult time for him.”

Suga nodded. “He wasn’t too happy back then. Neither was Kei. You can’t really blame them. They had just lost their parents.”

Of course Tadashi didn’t know any of this. He assumed Akiteru was adopted, but he didn’t think about his biological parents. Or how he came to the Sugawaras.

“He was 14 years old then they died. Kei was 8. They were both scared and upset. Of course they would be. But I think Akiteru took it a bit harder… Said he didn’t want a new family.” Everyone could hear the sadness in Suga voice.

Daichi put an arm around Suga. “But after _months_ of talking and listening they both came to trust us and accepted us as their second set of parents.”

“And they started to teach me how to play volleyball.” Shouyou said in a sleepy, cheerful voice. His eyes were closed again.

Daichi let out a small chuckle. “I’m so glad he’s found you. He’s been a little distant these past few years, with law school and all. I think the engagement will be good for him. We get to celebrate such a big moment in his life. We’ll get our son back.”

Tadashi smiled awkwardly.

“I get another brother.” Shouyou said before falling asleep again.

They really weren’t making it easy for Tadashi to break the news to them. If only it was true. If only he really was engaged to their son. He wouldn’t just get Akiteru; he would get all of them. He would get a family. But that wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to be Shouyou’s brother. He wasn’t going to be Daichi and Suga’s son-in-law. When all this was over he would end up with just his small apartment full of books.

 

***

 

Tadashi didn’t know what time it was or if he was really awake. He felt like he was in a dreamland, between awake and asleep. He tried to shift into a more comfortable position, but whatever he was sleeping on was not very accommodating.

“Shh, you’re going to wake him,” he heard Daichi warn someone.

“Don’t you find this a little odd?!” It was a new voice and it didn’t sound too friendly. It was icy, accusing. “I just saw Akiteru two week ago. He didn’t mention anything about being engaged or that he was seeing anyone.”

Tadashi eyes shot open. Thank goodness he was facing away from the men having this conversation.

“Well maybe he wanted to tell us all together at Christmas?”

“Hm.” He obviously wasn't buying it. “Did you ask this Yamaguchi when they got engaged? Or when they starting seeing each other?”

“No, we were a bit preoccupied with your brother being in a coma.” Now it was Daichi’s voice whose was icy.

_Brother… this must be Kei._

“Sorry” he whispered. “But he’s going to be okay, right? They said he would fully recover?”

“They believe so… He will.” It was amazing how quickly Daichi’s voice could go from cold and unfriendly to warm and comforting.

There were a few moments of silence. Tadashi could practically feel Kei’s eyes on the back of his head.

“He saved Akiteru’s life,” Daichi whispered. “You shouldn’t judge him so fast. He’s a really nice guy. Kind of reminds me of a lost puppy.” Was that a compliment?

“I’m not judging him… I just find it really hard to believe Akiteru didn’t even tell me. As a matter of fact I’m almost positive he would have told me… which means-”

“Kei, stop right there. Yamaguchi has been nothing but helpful today. Whatever you’re thinking, let it go.”

Another few moments of silence. “You do realize Shouyou is drooling on you, right?”

Daichi sighed. “Yea, just let him sleep.”  

 

***

 

The next time Tadashi woke up he sat up right away. He didn’t want to listen to anymore awkward conversations. But it turns out he didn’t have to. Everyone was asleep. Even Kei.

He looked a lot like Akiteru, same hair, nice face, at least when he was sleeping. Tadashi didn’t want to think about what it looked like during his conversation with Daichi earlier.

But he was wearing glasses. That’s not smart. He’s sleeping. Tadashi walked over to him, and as gently and slowly as possible, took them off.

Maybe his accusing face wouldn’t be so bad. He didn’t look harmful asleep. If anything he looked really… kind.

After a few second Kei let out a sigh and rustled a bit. Tadashi brought both his hands to his mouth to cover his gasp. Probably shouldn’t be staring at a complete stranger while they were asleep. Then again that didn’t stop him from getting engaged.

Tadashi put Kei’s glasses on the table next to him and walked back to the bench he was sleeping on a few minutes ago. He didn’t know what to do. It didn’t feel right to leave. But he didn’t exactly want to go back to sleep here. He forgot his book at the coffee shop, so reading was out of the question.

Just when he was about to leave a note saying he needed to go home to check on his non-existent cat he saw a nurse leave Akiteru’s room.

Tadashi didn’t really know what he was doing, but he got up and walked into Akiteru’s room.

He looked the same. Pale, weak.

Tadashi sat down in the chair next to his bed and after a few seconds started to talk.

“So, um, I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi. But I guess you can call me Tadashi since we’re engaged. Well at least for now. But you know the truth… you know I’m just the guy who makes you coffee, not someone you’ve fallen in love with. How I’m going to tell your family that, I have no clue. I’m pretty sure your uncle Noya will try to kill me once I do. So maybe I’ll wait till your out of the hospital so I can take your bed.

“But just so everything’s out on the table I have thought about this. What it would be like to actually talk to you, not just ask for your drink order. To fall in love with you. To get to know you and your family. They seem really nice. Nothing like I imagined, a bit… crazier and louder than I thought they would be, but still very loving. You’re lucky to have them.”

Tadashi took a good look at his face again. Maybe trying to figure out if he really heard his confession. But nothing changed. “Do you believe in love at first sight? I bet you don’t, probably too sensible for that. But have you ever liked someone so much that you think about them all the time and look forward to seeing them everyday. And think that if they could just get to know you, the real you, they would realize they were the one for you.”

Tadashi started to tear up. “Have you ever fallen in love with someone you’ve never talked to? Have you ever been so lonely you spent the night making an ass of yourself to a man in a coma?”

Tadashi stopped there. There wasn’t really anything more to say. If only the Sugawaras could have heard him, that would have made everything so much easier. Embarrassing, but easier.

But what Tadashi didn’t know was that one of them did. Tanaka had been standing right outside the door from the very beginning.

 

***

 

The next, and last time for that night, Tadashi woke up he was being gently shaken awake by Suga.

“Yamaguchi, your back is going to hurt if you keep sleeping like that.” He was still in the chair next to Akiteru’s bed. Tadashi jolted up.

“What time is it?”

“About 10 till 8, I believe.”

“Crap, I’m going to late for work.” Tadashi grabbed for his keys and wallet in a hurry.

“Wait,” Suga said. “Are you free tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“Yea, we didn’t really get to have Christmas yesterday, so we’re doing it tonight.” Suga flashed him a charming smile.

“Um, I don’t know…” Tadashi didn’t particularly want to spend the whole night lying.

“Please? I know everyone will be happy to have you there!” Did anyone say no to him?

“... Okay, sure.”

“Great!” Suga grabbed a piece of paper and pen from the side table. “Here is our address. We’ll see you at 7?”

“Sounds great.” Tadashi said slowly walking out the room. Then remembered he had less than 10 minutes to get to work and started running.

 

***

 

Five fucking cups of coffee and Tadashi still wanted to curl up on top of the counter and fall asleep. So sleeping on a bench and upright in a chair wasn’t the best sleeping choice. Tadashi learned his lesson.  

“So you’re telling me they think you are engaged to the guy in a coma and you didn’t correct them?” Takeda asked him.

“I didn’t really get the chance! They were all so nice. I couldn’t just tell them ‘hey sorry I know it’s been hours since I’ve met you all but I’m not engaged to your son. We’ve actually never had a conversation.’” Tadashi was getting a headache from all the caffeine or maybe it was the stress.

“But talking to them about how your engagement to him was so much better?”

“His uncles are scary! They will murder me!”

“Hm. So what are you going to do?”

Tadashi groaned loudly while holding his head in his hands. “I need my bed.”

Takeda walked past him and gave him a small pat on the back. “Oh and don’t forget the new guy starts tomorrow. You get to train him!” More Tadashi groaning.

 

***

 

At 7:10 that night Tadashi stood outside the Sugawaras’ house. “What am I doing?” Tadashi asked himself out loud. In a split second he decided he couldn’t do it and was just going to go home. But in that next split second he walked right into Tanaka.

“Wow, you okay?”

“Yea, sorry. I didn’t see you.”

“No worries. Just about to go in?”

“Um, well… I was actually-”

“Why don’t you come sit with me for a minute?” The way Tanaka said it made it clear it wasn’t a question. Tadashi followed him to the front steps of the house.

“So, Yamaguchi. Why weren’t you with your family yesterday? I’m sure they would have wanted to see their son on Christmas.”

“Actually... I don’t have parents anymore. My mother left when I was really young and my father died about five years ago.” That was still hard to say.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yea, I miss him everyday.” Tadashi didn’t want the sadness to show too much. But the few moments of silence that followed made it clear his sadness was evident.

“You know, technically, I’m not a part of Sugawara family.”

“What do yo mean?”

“I was engaged to Daichi’s sister about 15 years ago… But she passed away before we got the chance to say our vows.”

“I’m so sorry.” Tadashi knew pain, but that seemed unimaginable. To love someone so much, for them to love you just as much, to plan a future with that person and have it all taken away.

“That was a very hard time for me. But Daichi and Suga. Noya and Asahi. The kids. They all took me in. They made me family. Even though I’m not. Well not through blood or marriage…”

Tadashi didn’t know how to respond to that. Or why Tanaka was telling him this.

“They made me feel welcomed and loved... I know they would do the same for you.”

Was this about Akiteru? Did he think he was going to die? The thought of having a family again did sound nice. Especially the Sugawaras. But there was no way that would happen to him, not when he’s been lying to them literally every second he’s known them.

Just then the front door opened. “What are you guys doing out here? It’s freezing! Come inside!” Suga said while rushing them in. He was wearing a somewhat ridiculous Christmas sweater, with dancing gingerbread men and reindeer all over it.

Tadashi walked into the house and saw that everyone was wearing just as crazy Christmas sweaters. Daichi’s had a present on it with a giant 3D bow on top. Hitoka was wearing a red cardigan with red and green sequins around the edges and a heart made out of candy canes on the left side. Shouyou’s was definitely the most overdone, red and green stripes with a huge 3D Christmas tree right in the middle. There were tiny ornaments hanging off it and flashing lights worked into the sweater.

Kei was on the couch talking with Asahi and Hitoka. His sweater actually looked pretty traditional. Red with a classic geometric snowflake print. But where the reindeer usually were was something else. They looked like some kind of animal. Maybe they were reindeer, but just looked odd from a distance?

“Nice sweaters.”

“Yea, we have a Christmas sweater contest every year. Shouyou usually wins.”

“I see why.”

“No you haven’t. It sings too.” Suga sounded a bit regretful. “Well I better get back into Kitchen. I left Noya alone in there. Never a good idea.”

Tanaka took Tadashi’s coat and walked him into the living room.

Kei was glaring at him from across the room, now alone. He definitely looked more friendly asleep.

 _It'll be fine._ He told himself. _I'll just go over there and introduce myself. I'm sure he's as nice as the rest of his family. He was probably just really stressed during his conversation with Daichi last night._

But when he got in front of Kei he couldn't stop himself from asking "Are those dinosaurs on your sweater?" They were. Instead of the classic reindeer on his Christmas sweater were dinosaurs.

Kei quickly looked down and started to blush. _Cute_.

“Sorry! I just have never seen a Christmas sweater like that. Um, so you must be Kei. I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

"I didn't know you were going to be here." There was the cold voice from last night.

"Your dad invited me this morning."

“I guess he didn’t tell you about the sweater contest.”

“Yea, It’s okay. I don’t have any ugly Christmas sweaters anyways.”

“It’s not an ugly Christmas sweater contest. It’s for the best Christmas sweater.”

“What?! Oh! I’m so sorry” He must really love Dinosaurs if he thinks that the best Christmas sweater. “...so Shouyou actually believes....”

“Yea, just say you like it or he’ll get upset.”

“But Suga said he usually wins.”

Kei laughed. “They don’t want to hurt his feels. He works really hard on his sweater every year.”

Well at least he got him to laugh. That was a step forward.

“So when did you meet my brother?” He voice was cold again. That was fast.

“Um, a few months ago,” Tadashi said while trying to look anywhere but at Kei. That wasn’t a lie either. Not technically. Akiteru started coming into the coffee shop a few months ago.

While Tadashi was avoiding Kei’s glare his eyes landed on the mantel. He didn’t know how but they managed to squeeze 10 stocking on it. One of which had his name on the top and small snowflakes painted all over it.

“Do you like it?” Hitoka said from behind him. She looked so happy when she wasn’t sobbing. “It was rushed, but I got it done in time for tonight.”

Tadashi didn’t know what to say. She had really thought about him. And as part of her family. “Thank you. That’s was really nice of you.”

There was a loud crash from the kitchen then a second later Noya came running out. “Present time! Everyone to the living room!”

Once Tadashi saw Noya and Asahi next to each other he understood their sweaters. Each had a penguin wearing a santa hat on it, but when they were standing next to each other it looked like one of the penguins was kissing the other’s cheek. Although with their height difference it was more like Noya’s penguin was kissing Asahi’s penguin's tummy.

Everyone moved into the living room. There was Christmas music playing and garland with red bows and lights all over house, on the staircase, the mantel, around all the windows, and hanging from almost every edge of the ceiling. The house smelt like Christmas cookies and cinnamon, coziness.

Tadashi sat next to Shouyou and Tanaka while Hitoka started passing out the present.

For a while Tadashi just watched everyone exchange presents. Suga was sitting on Daichi’s lap as they gave each other their presents. And then they started making out a bit (which lead to complaints from everyone else in the room). Shouyou and Kei got t-shirts from Hitoka that said “World’s Greatest Brother”. Akiteru had a similar shirt saved under the tree. Tanaka got a hogwarts snuggie from Daichi and Suga, which he put on right away, and a wand that works as a TV remote from Noya and Asahi. There was obvious friend potential there.

Tadashi thought he would feel out of place at the Sugawaras’ house, but that wasn’t the case. Everyone was happy and content, and that made Tadashi feel at easy. At least until he caught Kei frowning at him.

“Don’t forget to open your present, Yamaguchi.” Hitoka handed him a square box wrapped in blue snowflake wrapping paper.

“You guys got me a present?” Again Tadashi was overwhelmed with the family’s kindness.

“Of course.”

Tadashi opened it slowly. Inside was a red scarf.

“I made it. I hope you like it.” Hitoka said with a shy smile.

“You made this for me?”

Hitoka nodded. “I wanted to make sure you felt welcomed today. I know it was a last minute invitation.”

They were so nice. And Tadashi felt nauseous. “Thank you very much. I love it.”  

 

***

 

Dinner was just as nice and that made Tadashi feel just as sick. Kei wasn’t really helping either. It was apparent he didn’t trust Tadashi. His intense glares didn’t disappear the entire evening. Not during presents, dinner, nor the “reindeer games”. Tadashi didn’t know anyone could glare while wearing reindeer antlers, but Kei did. At least the night was over and hopefully he wouldn’t have to deal with Kei guilt-causing-glares anymore.

“Heading home?” Suga asked.

“Yea, it’s about time I get to bed.”

“Would you like me to call you a cab?”

“It’s okay. It’s just a fifteen minute walk.”

“Oh, no please let me call you a cab.”

Tadashi was about to refuse again, but Kei interrupted him. “It’s okay. I’ll walk him.”

“No, no. Really it’s fine. I’ll be okay.” But Kei was already putting on his coat. Okay just 15 more minute of his glares.

“Make sure you take a cab back Kei! We’ll see you soon, Yamaguchi!” Suga gave Tadashi a hug then waved goodbye from the front door with Daichi as they walked down the street.

The first few minutes were awkward, cold and quiet, then it started to snow for the third time that day.

“So you started seeing him a few months ago. That’s a pretty fast engagement.”

Tadashi knew it was coming. At least now he could focus on the cold and snow while he tried to sound casual. “Yea, I guess so.”

“Is there a reason for the rush?”

“Nope.”

“Did you ask him or did he ask you?”

“That’s private.” Tadashi took the risk and looked at Kei. There were his judgmental eyes. What he would give to see Akiteru’s kind eyes.

“What’s his favorite sport?”

“...Volleyball.” They taught Shouyou to play, right?

“What position does he play?”

“W- when we play he plays multiple positions.” Stuttering. Not a good sign.  

“You play?” A distraction. Good.

“Yes, I have since middle school. I was a middle blocker and pinch server.”

“What position did Akiteru play in high school?”

Okay no distraction. Time to completely guess. “W- wing spiker.”

“Hm.” Was he wrong? Was he finally figured out?  

Kei let out a sigh and relaxed his shoulders. “Sorry... I’m just shocked he didn’t tell me…” Kei’s voice actually sounded hurt.

Tadashi was officially hurting him with this lie. “It’s not like that… It’s just a bit complicated.”

Kei waited for a few seconds. “Not going to go on?” He sounded annoyed.

Tadashi couldn’t go on. His brain was completely blank. He could try to tell Kei the truth. Maybe he would be sympathetic and help him break the news to his family. But instead Tadashi just stayed silent.

“Guess I’ll just ask Akiteru when he wakes up.” Was he actually being consideration? “So how did you meet?”

“He came into the coffee shop I work at.”

“Oh, you’re a barista? I worked as a barista during college.”

Tadashi laughed. “Me too.” Kei gave him a questioning look. “I’ve been working there since I was 18… I had other plans, but they didn’t work out.”

“What were they?”

Finally a question irrelevant to Akiteru, but it was still a personal question. “I got my bachelor’s degree in business a few years ago with the goal of opening my own bookstore… but I haven’t yet.”

Kei stopped walked. “Are you okay?” Tadashi asked.

“Is that why you’re marrying him?”

“What?”

Kei was back to frowning at him. “Is that why you want to marry him? He just became a lawyer. You want to use his income to open your store.”

Tadashi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Sure, he was currently lying to him and his entire family. But he would never use someone for money, and he hated being accused of that. He was disgusted. “Why would you even think that?”

“You’ve only been dating for two months. Akiteru always been a little too nice. Plus, you’re pretty cute. You probably just used that to get him to marry you so you can use his money. Makes sense.”

“Well… at least I know what you think of me.” Tadashi turned around and started to walk as fast as he could.

“What?! You’re not even going to deny it?!” Apparently Kei was determined to keep up with him. Thank goodness they just got to his building’s block. “You’re going to have to get better at lying if you want this to work out for you.”

Tadashi started to tear up, but there was no way Kei was going to see that. He would probably just use it against him. The tears started to blur his vision, and with the snow mounding up Tadashi lost his footing and fell into pile of snow. He landed on his hands and knees. More tears started to fall from his eyes.

“Hey, you okay?” Kei actually sounded concerned.

Tadashi got up and tried to wipe the snow from his jeans and the tears from his eyes. “I’m not using him for his money!” he said while walking away from Kei again.

Tadashi just wanted to get away from him now. He didn’t want to deal with this. But when he got to his building’s front door Kei’s hand pushed it closed as Tadashi tried to open it.

“What do you mean?”

Tadashi looked down and whispered, “I don’t need his money to start up my bookstore. I have about 18 million yen saved up from my father’s life insurance.”

“What? Then why haven’t you opened your bookstore?”

Now it was Tadashi turn to glare at Kei. Instead of replying he yanked the door open hard, and closed it in front of Kei, leaving him in the snow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Kei be nice to your future boyfriend. He means well. He’s just worried about Akiteru. And fyi, 18 million yen is about $150,000. 
> 
> In case this wasn’t clear I really, really love Christmas. And so do the Sugawaras. Also, I have Hitoka’s Christmas sweater. I made it a few years ago and wear it every Christmas. Okay next chapter we finally get to see Tobes! Yay! I’m not sure when that’ll be up. I was hoping to update every 4-5 days, but next week sounds pretty busy for me. Then again maybe I’ll decided to avoid adult responsibilities and write instead. 
> 
> Please come talk to me at snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com. And I still need a beta. Please! I can't edit my own work!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. These past few weeks were a little more difficult than I anticipated. But the next chapter is almost done too, so it should be up soon. Thank you again to everyone who left comments and kudos! They make me very happy! :)

CRASH! Tadashi jumped and turned around to see Kageyama, a new employee of Takeda’s coffee shop, on the floor cleaning up yet another mess. It was beginning to become routine. He’d worked the past three days with Tadashi, each with about five different spills, one of which include four drinks at once. It was almost impressive. Tadashi was supposed to be training him, but how do you train someone to… not drop everything?

“Kageyama, are you okay?”

Kageyama shot up straight. “I’m sorry!” he said while bowing at Tadashi.

“It’s okay. Why don’t you just take over the register. I’ll make another drink for them.”

Kageyama walked over to the counter and somewhat yelled “Hello, what can I get for you?” at the next customer in line.

It’s been three days since his fight with Kei and Tadashi was starting to feel a little guilty for yelling at him and closing the door in his face. So, yes, he was pretty much accusing him of being a gold digger (while calling him cute, which still made Tadashi blush), but he was probably just worried about his brother. In reality he had every right to be. Kei had been told his brother was engaged and he didn't know anything about it. Of course he would be suspicious. It was a little weird all the other Sugawaras weren’t as suspicious. Then again they did say Akiteru had been distant in the past few years.

These past three days have all been the same. Work during the day, hospital at night. During the days he had Kageyama to worry about, and the constant fear of getting hot coffee spilt on him. During the nights he was mostly concerned with avoiding Kei. That was surprisingly easy. Since there were so many people in this family there was almost always someone else to talk to... or hide behind.

Tanaka, in particularly, had been spending a lot of time with him, asking a lot of questions about him and his past. At times it was more like he was in the middle of a job interview rather than talking to his “soon-to-be uncle”.

But even with the ongoing interrogation, the family was still friendly towards him during these hospital visits. Hitoka spent some time teaching him how to knit while they were in Akiteru’s room. His scarfs never turned out as great as hers, but he was slowly getting better. At one point Shouyou found out Tadashi played volleyball in high school and talked him into going  outside in the freezing cold to play (Daichi didn’t allow volleyballs in the hospital anymore). Tadashi didn’t last long. Turned out the kid was fast as hell.

Daichi and Suga sometimes brought pictures of their children from when they were younger. Well at least when Kei, Shouyou, and Hitoka were younger. Akiteru was never really “young” with the Sugawaras. There were pictures of Hitoka and Shouyou as babies and Kei as a kid. Apparently during his first six months at the Sugawaras he was never without this green stuffed dinosaur. It was some kind of security blanket for him, according to Suga. He also warned Tadashi not to bring up his age while having this stuffed dinosaur. Now he wished he wasn’t avoiding Kei just so  he could bring him up and tease him about it.

But, okay, he was definitely a cute kid, so tiny and even a sweet smile as the pictures went on to his later years with the Sugawaras. And then the pictures went on to his teen years… his young adult years… his last birthday.  Okay, he was still cute. And handsome. And so tall.

But that didn’t excuse his behavior a few days ago.

The night before Daichi had even invited him over for their New Year’s Eve party. Did they have big celebrations for every holiday? Every birthday? Did they ever go a week without a celebration?

Tadashi said he would go, because really was there another answer he could give? It’s like Daichi and Suga had this power over him. They weren’t his parents, yet he didn’t want to let them down. He didn’t want to see disappointment on their face. It made telling the truth that much harder.

But if he was really honest with himself, he knew he wanted to go. Ever since the Sugawaras walked into his life it was like things have been different. Before he would go home and hide away in his books. He had given up on finding anyone who would truly see him as him and still want to be around him. Before the Sugawaras no one really did. He was alone after all. But the Sugawaras did see him. They smiled every time he walked in the hospital wing. They kept on inviting him over to their house for these celebrations. They wanted to be around him. And that felt good.

But another part of Tadashi felt like it was artificial happiness. They were doing this because they think their son has already seen him, the real him, and liked him enough to want to spend the rest of his life with him. But that wasn’t true. This whole thing was a lie. The feelings they were showing him was all a lie and they didn't even know it.

It was midmorning and by some miracle the shop hit a lull. There was one customer sitting in the corner working on her computer, but other than her the shop was empty. Kageyama volunteered to restock the cups and lids, which left Tadashi with nothing to do for the time being. He had already wiped down all the tables and the counter. So he took out his book and started to escape.

“Yamaguchi!!!”

His book dropped to the floor as he jumped from shock. What did the book do to deserve this? When he looked up he saw Shouyou and Hitoka standing at the shop’s front door.

“Shouyou, shhh!” Hitoka scowled him. He was carrying a plastic bag with what looked like random stuff inside.

“Hi! What are you guys doing here?” It’s not like Tadashi wasn’t happy to see them, he just didn’t remember telling them where he worked.

“Well we were at the hospital when they released some of Akiteru’s stuff. Dads thought you should have it so they said we could bring it to you.” Shouyou said with a smile. He was like living sunshine.

“Oh…” Shouyou handed him the bag. “What kind of stuff?”

“Mostly work stuff. Boring papers and such. Dad already called his work to let them know what happened but he thought you would know if anything in there was super important.” He didn’t.

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” Tadashi placed the bag under the counter with his messenger bag. “Would you two like some coffee?”

Shouyou smiled, but Hitoka screamed. “No!” She looked panicked from a moment. “He can’t have coffee.”

“That was a year ago. I’m sure I can handle it better now!”

“How about some tea, instead?” Tadashi suggested. Now that he thought about it giving coffee to Shouyou was probably like giving a full bag of candy to a four year old.

“Fine, but at least make it caffeinated.” Behind him Hitoka shook her head at Tadashi. He gave her a small nod to show he understood. No caffeinated anything for Shouyou.

“What about you, Hitoka?”

While Hitoka looked at the menu Tadashi heard Kageyama come back from the storage room.

“YOU!” Shouyou yelled while pointing at Kageyama. He dropped the plastic cup from the shock of Shouyou’s volume and tone. “What are you doing here?! Can’t let me take a break from you even during the break?!”

After the initial shock Kageyama didn’t skip a beat with Shouyou’s attack. “Me?! What about you?! What are you doing here?! I WORK here! You’re the one who won’t give me a break!”

“Kageyama? You know Shouyou?” Tadashi asked.

Kageyama didn’t stop glaring at Shouyou. “We’re on the same volleyball team at our university.”

“But we were rivals in high school.”

“ _I_ was _your_ rival. I never considered you a rival.”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

“Shouyou, calm down. What he said wasn’t exactly rude.” Hitoka was trying to calm him down. Tadashi couldn’t imagine how he would be if he’d actually given him coffee.

“Yes it was! He’s saying I wasn’t good enough for him to consider me competition!” Shouyou turned to Kageyama. “You can not work with my brother! You’re my rival! Isn’t that like a conflict of interest?!”

“Wha—? Dumbass, we aren’t rivals anymore! Wait, brother?”

At the question Shouyou stopped his glare and smiled again. “Yes, Yamaguchi is going to marry my brother, which makes him my brother.”

_Oh right… brother._

“Then he isn’t your brother yet, dumbass.” Kageyama started to pick up the cups he dropped.

"You know what, I think it's time for your break, Kageyama. Why don't you head into the back." Best to get them apart.

Kageyama set the cup down, but didn't make a move to leave. "I have a volleyball." Shouyou's face perked up like a puppy. "You... you wanna practice our quick?"

Shouyou ran behind the counter and through the back door. "Save my tea for me, Hitoka"

"Oi! You can't come back here! Wait for me!” Kageyama said running after Shouyou. “Be back in fifteen!"

Well that didn't work out how Tadashi planned.

 

***

 

Five hours later Tadashi was heading home. Shouyou and Hitoka stayed with him for about half an hour, most of which Shouyou spent talking (and flirting? or his version of flirting) with Kageyama. For some reason Kageyama dropped all three drinks he made during this half hour. After the third fallen drink Shouyou challenged him to a drink-making contest. Luckily Tadashi was able to stop them.

Tadashi seriously considered discussing how to properly flirt with Shouyou, like not challenging them at every turn, but then remembered he didn’t know how to flirt either. He wouldn’t be much help. Every man for himself.

As Tadashi worked his way up the stairs to his apartment he ran into Jiro, one of his over-friendly neighbors. “Hey, Yamaguchi. I haven’t seen you in a few days. Are you cheating on me?” Jiro said raising an arm, trying to stop him.

“How could I be cheating on you? I’m not dating you.” Tadashi replied while ducking under his arm without stopping to actually look at him. But Jiro was able to block him again, forcing Tadashi to take notice in him.

“Awe, come on, don’t be like that.” Jiro was tall, dark, and maybe a little too assertive sometimes, like now.

“It’s been a long week, Jiro. I just want to get into bed and read.” This time Tadashi was able to escape Jiro and make it to his door.

“Was  that an invitation?” Tadashi closed the door in his face.

Taking a deep sigh Tadashi took off his coat and tried to relax. It wasn’t like Jiro was dangerous, just annoying. But he still didn’t need that today. He needed to get out of his world for a bit. He needed to read.

Tadashi looked through his messenger bag to find his book, but found the plastic bag of Akiteru’s stuff instead. Out of curiosity he decided it wouldn’t hurt to look through it. Shouyou said it was mostly work stuff anyways.

It was. A leather bag filled boring papers. A planner. Pens. A dead cell phone. And a set of keys… to his home. Looking through the planner Tadashi found his address. He tried to tell himself he really shouldn’t do this… his karma probably wasn’t at its best right now.

Yet, twenty minutes later Tadashi was standing in of one of the tallest building in the city, in front of Akiteru’s apartment door. _Okay, one last chance to turn around._ But he couldn’t stop himself from turn the key and opening the door. If Tadashi was a cat curiosity would have killed him already.

It’s was… clean. Very clean. He guessed people described this style as “modern”. Black leather couch, shelves of law books, a square black coffee table, and what looked like untouched white carpet.

“What are you doing here?!” Oh and Kei.

Was he pissed or shocked? Tadashi couldn’t tell. Maybe he was both.

“Sorry! I didn’t think anyone would be here!” Tadashi said in a rush. Again running away felt like a good option. “Um, I’ll just leave you.” He said turning around.

“Wait!” Kei said. Tadashi didn't want to stay, but he did. “You have a key?”

Tadashi looked down in his hand. “Yes.”

“You must come over a lot.”

“Not as much as you would think.” Like never.

“You can come in, you know?” Tadashi hadn’t realize he was still standing in the doorway.

“Okay…” He started to walk in. “You know, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay here. I can leave now that I know you’re here.”

“Or you could come have a cup of coffee? I just made some.” Kei headed into the kitchen without waiting for his answer. Guess he was having coffee.

“You’re staying here?” Tadashi asked taking a seat at Akiteru’s table.

“Not really. I just stayed over last night. Needed a break from my roommate. His boyfriend is staying with us this week.”

“Oh.” Kei placed a mug in front of Tadashi and sat across from him. He seemed more interested in his coffee than Tadashi. Awkward silence followed by more awkward silence. This was the guy who clearly didn’t want him to become part of his family. So why did he want him stay?

“I want to apologize,” Kei said without looking up.

“Huh?”

Kei looked uncomfortable, like he was in new territory. “I… I shouldn’t have said that stuff to you a few days ago. I’m… sorry. I just find this all very weird. Akiteru didn’t tell me and I don’t know why.”

Tadashi felt like the worst person in the world. “It’s… complicated… why he didn’t tell you.” _Because we aren’t actually engaged._

“You don’t have to tell me. I just wanted to apologize for how I reacted.”

The guilt was getting to him again. Why did Kei always cause him to feel guilty? In reality it wasn’t even him that was causing it. Tadashi was the one currently lying to the Sugawaras. He was the one to blame, not Kei, but at that moment Tadashi just wanted to get away from anyone and anything causing him to feel like that. “It’s okay. Really, don’t worry about it. But I should go.”

Tadashi walked towards the door. He needed to get away from Kei now.

“I’ll walk you back.”

“Huh?” Kei was putting on his coat behind him.

“I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”

“W- why?”

Kei gave him an odd look. But didn’t answer the question. “Let’s go.”

Kei did seem more at ease this time. Maybe he actually trusted Tadashi now. Maybe that apology was his way of showing he wanted to start over. That was an odd thought. For the past four days the only thing Tadashi knew about Kei was that he _didn’t_ trust him. And that he liked dinosaurs. Now it felt like he didn’t know anything about him.

“So you said something about your father the last time we talk?”

“Huh?” Tadashi had been too lost in thought to notice Kei staring at him.

“You said you saved the money from your father’s life insurance.”

“Oh, yes… He past away about five years ago.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been very difficult for you.” He really looked sincere.

“Yes, it was. He was the only family I had left. My mother… was never really around.” Kei looked away. Was that too much for him? “Daichi and Suga said you lost your parents when you were 8? That must have been very hard for you.”

“Yea… it was.” So far Tadashi had only seen Kei’s accusing, upset, judging eyes, but this was worst. They were so sad… miserable, heartbroken. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about it—”

“No, it’s fine. They were in a car accident when I was 8. It was…” He didn’t finish the sentence. “One day they were here, then the next they were gone, without any warning. Akiteru was brave during the whole thing. I think he thought he had to be for me.”

“Daichi and Suga said he didn’t take to them too well at first?”

“Yea, he didn’t want to go with them. Honestly, we were lucky. The social worker who worked our case is a friend of their. We got placed with them by chance. For some reason they really liked us… or saw that we needed them. I’m not sure, but for two boys who just lost their parents, getting placed with them was the best thing that could have happened to us. Akiteru didn’t think so at first. He didn’t really want to believe that mom and dad were gone.”

“You took it better?”

Kei thought about the question. “I wouldn’t say that. It’s just that I started trusting them sooner than Akiteru did. I was still a kid. They fixed the stuffed dinosaur my parents gave me, tucked me in at night, held me when I cried. It was easier for them to gain my trust, to become my parents. Not easy, but easier than it was for Akiteru to trust them. Maybe in some way I’ve always trusted them more than Akiteru. I think that’s why they’re so happy you’re here now.”

Tadashi didn’t want to bring the subject back to that. “You really like dinosaurs, don’t you?” Kei blushed. “Sorry, sorry. That’s sweet.” Kei’s blush deepened. “But I get it. Ever since I could remember my dad would read to me. Everyday. Even when I was old enough to read to myself he would read to me. It was like I could escape everything else in the world _with_ him. There was nothing but me and my dad and the words he read to me. It’s still comforting to read. That’s what dinosaurs are for you, right?” Tadashi gave him a gentle smile.

Kei stared at him, awestruck. “...Yes,” he said after a few seconds, then looked away quickly. “It is… really comforting to have dinosaurs around. Like somehow, maybe they’re with me.”

Tadashi smiled. “They are.” Tadashi didn’t notice Kei staring at him again.

There were a few moments of silence then Tadashi spoke again. “Does it ever get easier?… It’s been about five years and sometimes I still wake up thinking it was all a nightmare.”

Kei eyes went sad again. “Same thing happened to me when I was younger. I thought it was just because I was a kid when they died… It’ll get better now that you have Suga and Daichi… and Akiteru.” That didn’t help Tadashi. No, he may have them now, but he wasn’t going to get to keep them.

“I still miss them a lot, of course… but my dads, my family, they really help… Even Shouyou… But if you tell him I said that you’ll regret it.” Kei said that last part with such seriousness Tadashi had to laugh. Somehow Tadashi kept missing the way Kei was looking at him when he smiled or laughed.

Finally they got to Tadashi’s apartment building. “Well this walk was much better than our last one,” Tadashi said. “I guess I’ll see you around the hospital?”

“Sure,” Kei said as he watched Tadashi wave goodbye and walk away. “Are you busy tomorrow night?”

Tadashi turned around and gave him a questioning look. “I’m closing tomorrow.”

“After?”

“Nope, nothing planned.”

“Me, my roommate and his boyfriend usually go to this bar on Friday nights.” Tadashi didn’t seem to get what he was say, so Kei had to continue. “Would you like to join us?”

“Oh!” Tadashi was not expecting that. “... Sure.”

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Block 57, bulding 4. We usually get there around 10, you can just meet up when you get off.”

“O- Okay. Bye…” Tadashi said turning around into his building again. He was still shocked Kei went from being someone he actively tried to avoid to someone he was going to a bar with. Tadashi didn’t go to bars. He barely drank. Tomorrow night was going to be interesting.

_______

 

Kei watched Tadashi walk into his building. He couldn’t believe he just invited his brother’s fiance to go to a bar with him. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that. But it’s not like it was a date. They were going with other people, with another couple… so it was more like a double date— No! It was not a date of any kind.

“Hey!” Kei saw a tall man walking towards him and he looked pissed. One look and Kei could already tell he didn’t like this guy. There was something about him, the way he looked like he own the world, that made Kei want to show him that he didn’t. “What are you doing with my boyfriend?!”

“Excuse me?” He said with a disinterested, almost annoyed voice.

“I saw you walking with him! Stay away! That’s your first and only warning.” He was trying to act intimidating, but it wasn’t working on Kei.

“Your boyfriend?”

“Yes, Yamaguchi and me. We’re dating. As in boyfriends. Clear enough for you?”

Kei didn’t answer. Was this guy really his boyfriend? Was Tadashi really a cheater? With this guy? And cheating on his brother on top of that? All these questions, but the guy in front of him didn’t matter, so he just walked away, hearing “Stay away from him!” being shouted at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter features drunk Tadashi. Yay!
> 
> snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to my beta-reader, [kettleowl](http://kettleowl.tumblr.com/) for helping me through this chapter. The end of it was trying to murder me. Oh and there is a little kuroken in this chapter. Wasn’t planning on including them in this fic, it just kinda worked out that way. But I’m not complaining. I love kuroken. :)
> 
> To my younger readers, do not, I repeat DO NOT, take Yam’s advice in this chapter when/if you’re feeling out of place in a bar, especially if you’re with new people.

“How can a guy, who is literally the kindest person I’ve met, be cheating on my brother? This just doesn’t add up.” Kei was already on his second beer. The bar was filled with people since it was a Friday night and the day before New Year’s Eve on top of that, but they managed to get a table off in the corner.

“Maybe it was a misunderstanding? Or you’re just a really bad judge of character?” Kuroo said. “Kenma’s a good judge of character! You’ll know, right Kenma?” Kuroo looked at Kenma, who seemed to be the only person in the whole bar who was strongly against being there. He never really liked these Friday night bar trips. He hated drinking. He hated being around big groups of people. Basically everything he hated in one place, but also one person he loved, so he kept going with them.

“Kei is a good judge of character. I’m sure you’re right about him.” Kenma answered while playing with the straw in his drink. He was still on his first one. Probably his only one for the night.

“Speaking of which, where is this guy? It’s almost 11,” Kuroo asked Kei. “I wanna meet the ‘kindest guy’ you’ve ever meet. You know you can’t actually date him, right?” Kuroo always had this way of picking up on the slightly hint that Kei had a crush. So did Kenma, but he didn’t shove it in his face.

Kei glared at Kuroo. “He said he was closing, so I don’t know when he’ll get here.”

“Well if he is a cheater you’ll have to tell your family. Your brother’s in a coma. No way he deserves that.”

Kei was starting to feel conflicted. On one hand he genuinely enjoyed spending time with Tadashi yesterday… but if what that guy said was true then… he was completely wrong about Tadashi. Kei finished his drink quickly. “I’m going to get another.”

 

***

 

Tadashi had been standing outside the bar for about ten minutes now. He wanted to go in. He wanted to see Kei again, especially now that he felt comfortable around him. But he had never been inside a bar. Nor had he ever had more than one and a half beers. Tadashi took a deep breath. He’s 24 years old. He could do this. He could be an adult…

Tadashi stepped into the bar. It was pretty much what he expected, except more crowded. It was dark, there was some band (two guys with guitars) playing in the front of the bar, where most of the crowd was, but no Kei in sight. His anxiety rose a bit. In front of him were a bunch of people he didn’t know. Not his ideal situation. But he tried to put that thought out of his mind. Tadashi wandered over to the bar, thinking at least he could get a drink. Luckily, he saw Kei on the opposite side of the bar. His height made it easy to find him in crowds. Tadashi began to relax. There was someone here for him.

Tadashi pushed through the crowd to get to him. “Hi.” Kei jumped at his voice.

“Oh, you made it.” Kei said glaring down at him a bit. Tadashi didn’t notice at first.

“Yea, sorry it took longer to close up than usual.” The bartender walked over to them and gave Kei a beer. Then looked at Tadashi. “Um, I’ll have the same as him.” Since Tadashi didn’t really have much judgement on what he liked it didn’t really matter. Plus, it felt awkward standing at the bar. He just wanted to get away from it. In no time the bartender was back with his drink.

“My friends are sitting off in the corner,” Kei said not looking at him. His voice felt a little icy again.

“O- okay.” Tadashi’s anxiety started to rise again, like he was picking something up off Kei. Did he not want him here? He was the one who invited him.

When they got to the table Tadashi saw two guys, one with the wildest bedhead he’d ever seen and another who looked like he was about to fall asleep in the other’s arms.

“Ah this must be Yamaguchi!” The one with the insane bedhead said. “Nice to finally meet you. I’m Kuroo.” He held out his hand for Tadashi to shake.

His upfrontness took him off guard for a moment. “Hello. Nice to meet you too.”

“And this sleepy little kitten is Kenma.” Kuroo said while playing with Kenma’s hair.

“You guys don’t have to stay if Kenma’s tired.” Kei said.

“No, it’s okay.” Kenma answered. “Kuroo really wanted to meet Yamaguchi.” Tadashi knew he was going to start blushing, so he looked down in hope they wouldn’t pick up on it. Kei must have told them about him. He talked about him. Why did that make him blush?

“Awe, thanks Kenma.” Kuroo gave him a small kiss on his forehead.

Then everything went awkward and quiet. Well at least it was quiet at their table. The bar was still pretty loud. One of the guys in the “band” was now singing. He wasn’t bad. Were bars usually this awkward? Or was it because of Kei? He looked like something was bothering him. Kenma still looked ready to pass out and Kuroo looked like… he was up to something. But no one said anything for a minute. Not until Kuroo announced “I think it’s time for shots!”

Kenma shot up from Kuroo’s arms. “Kuroo, no.” But he was already getting up from the table.

“Tequila? Yes?” He didn’t wait for anyone to answer though.

Kenma held his head in his hands. “This is going to be a long night.”

 

***

 

Tadashi had made a very, very important discovery tonight: Tequila was good. Well not at first. At first it tasted like poison, but after four? five? shots he realized tequila was really, really good.

They had been at the bar for about two hours now and Tadashi was much more at ease. Sure, he felt like he was floating a bit and his vision was getting a little blurred, but at least he didn’t feel awkward anymore.

At first he was a bit reluctant towards taking shots. After all he had never taken a shot before. But then he started to think… He was already feeling out of place. It’s not like _not_ drinking will fix that. Why not just take a few and see what happens? Plus Kei wasn’t really helping with the whole avoiding-him-while-sitting-right-next-to-him thing. So Tadashi took a shot. And another. And another. And then he started to lose count. Plus, he was drinking beer in between the shots. He was beginning to feel loopy, but in a nice way. Like it was okay that he was at a bar with two strangers and a guy he was currently lying to.

Maybe it was the alcohol but he was really starting to like this Kuroo guy. He was fun to be around, especially when he was drunk. “And then this guy—” Kuroo pointed to Kei, “ended up breaking up with the guy a week later! Like after _weeks_ of me trying to get him to go on a date with Kei.” Kuroo leaned on the table with one hand and looked at Kei. “Tsukki, why are you so picky with the guys you date?”

“Shut up. You’re a drunk mess.” Kei must have been used to drunk Kuroo. He didn’t look too annoyed with him.

“Tsukki?” Tadashi didn’t realized he said that out loud.

“Awe, don’t tell me you don’t even know his nickname. Isn’t it cute?”

Tadashi couldn’t control his giggling. Kuroo was right; it was really cute. Too freaking adorable, just like Kei right now, blushing, and refusing to look anywhere but down at the table.

“You’re the only one who still calls me that…”

Suddenly Tadashi grabbed Kei’s arm. “Can I call you Tsukki?” Tadashi asked like it was the most important thing in the world. Maybe if he had stop drinking a few shots ago he would have noticed Kei awestruck look at Tadashi saying his nickname.

Any other time Tadashi would have been embarrassed by this behavior, but he didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with it at the moment. He just really wanted to be Tsukki’s friend. He really wanted to call him Tsukki. So what if he looked annoyed with him earlier, he still wanted this.

“You can call me whatever you want.” That made Tadashi smile. It felt like a huge accomplishment for some reason. He obviously didn’t let many people call him that, so this had to be a good sign, right?

Tadashi still hadn’t let go of Kei’s arm. In fact, he was somewhat cuddling it now, laying his head on Kei’s shoulder and holding on to his arm like it was a pillow. “Wait, where did that come from? Tsukki?”

“My last name, Tsukishima. And Akiteru’s last name. How drunk are you?” Oh shit, apparently they didn’t take the Sugawaras surname. “Are you okay?” Kei asked. Tadashi looked down and finally realized what he was doing to Kei’s arm.

“Oh! Sorry, Tsukki!” He said quickly letting go of his arm. This time Tadashi noticed the way Kei looked at him when he said his name. When Kuroo called him that he was annoyed, but he didn’t looked annoyed with him now. Instead he smiled the tiniest smile.

For a few seconds it was like they were in their own world. Then Tadashi saw Kei’s eyes shift and his face went much more serious. Tadashi turned to see what got his attention, but everyone was blurring together. He couldn’t really make anyone out.

“Looks like your boyfriend arrived.” Kei whispered in his ear.

“Huh?” Tadashi shot around to look at Kei again, which was a very, very bad idea, because now he felt dizzy… and sick. “What are you talking about?”

But before Kei could answer Tadashi felt someone grab his arm and pull him up from his chair. “What the hell are you doing?!” It was Jiro, and he yelling at Kei. “I told you to stay away from him!”

“Jiro, what are you doing here?” This didn’t make sense to Tadashi. Why was Jiro here? And why was he yelling at poor Tsukki?

“I heard you guys talking yesterday, when I warned this guy to stay away from my boyfriend!” If the bar wasn’t so loud they probably would have gathered attention. But they didn’t. Everyone else in the bar pretty much had to yell to be heard so nothing seemed out of place.

“What are you talking about?!” Tadashi said addressing Jiro. “I’m not your boyfriend. Just because you call me that doesn’t mean I agreed to date you!” Tadashi tried to get out of his grasp with no luck.

“Come on, we’re leaving.” Jiro said pulling Tadashi away from the table while he stumbling over his own feet.

“Jiro, stop. What are you doing? Let me go!” But Jiro didn’t stop. He just kept pulling Tadashi away.

All of the sudden Tadashi saw a hand stop Jiro, making Tadashi run into him. “You do realize you’re dragging him, right? Even if he is dating you that doesn’t give you the right to control him. You can’t be that dense.”

“I’m not dating him!” Tadashi could hear himself slur. He wasn’t making the best case for himself.

“Hey, blondie. Stay out of our business. That’s the last time I’m going to tell you.” Jiro yanked Tadashi arm, but he didn’t move. Kei’s hand didn’t let him. Kei moved to stand between Jiro and Tadashi. It was almost like he grew taller in the past few minutes. The way he was looking down at Jiro, with his eyes turned dark and a small unfriendly smile on face, made it clear he wasn’t going to move until Jiro left.

“I don’t think you’re getting what I’m saying. You can’t make him go if he doesn’t want to,” Kei said in a lower than usual tone.

For a few moments neither of them said anything. Jiro held Kei’s glare. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn’t.

“Hey, is there a problem here?” It was one of the bartenders.

“Is there?” Kei asked.  

Jiro narrowed his eyes at Kei, but instead of replying he let go of Tadashi’s arm and turned around to walk out of the bar. Tadashi took a deep breath and let his nerves settle.

“Hey, I think we should head out too. They don’t look too happy with us,” Kuroo said looking at the other bartenders. When did he get there?

“Yeah, let’s go.” Kei lead Tadashi through the crowd and out of the bar, like he knew how dizzy Tadashi was. As soon as they got outside Tadashi turned to Kei. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know why he was here! I promise I’m not dating him! He’s crazy!” He could tell he sounded desperate, but didn’t care. This was important!

“It’s fine. Don't worry about it.”

Kuroo put his arm around Kenma. “Let’s head home. Tadashi why don’t you stay with us tonight? We live a few blocks down.”  Tadashi looked at Kei to see if that was really okay. He just gave a slight nod.

“O- okay.”

Kuroo and Kenma walked in front of him. Tadashi tried to focus on walking as straight as he could, but wasn’t doing a good job. At one point he bumped into Kei, causing him to grab his arm again. It helped him steady himself and Kei didn’t seem to mind, so he kept holding on to him. Then laid his head down on his shoulder as they walked down the street because it was really, really comfy before.

Even though they were walking on a cold night Tadashi felt so warm, like he was safe where he was. If he could transfer how Akiteru’s eyes made him feel the first time he saw them into a physical feeling this would be it. Tadashi sighed and snuggled into Kei’s shoulder. Kei didn’t say anything, so Tadashi assumed it was okay.

“Thank you for sticking up for me.” Tadashi whispered. He wasn’t sure if Kei heard him. If he did he didn’t reply. “I’m not dating him.” At that Kei looked down at his shoulder where Tadashi was looking up at him. He couldn’t make out Kei’s expression. Hurt? Discomfort? Longing? Why was his brain failing him now?

A few minutes later they were in Kuroo and Kei’s apartment. “Night guys,” Kuroo said not even turning around while him and Kenma closed the door to what Tadashi assumed was Kuroo’s room.

Kei looked awkward now, standing in his own living room. “Um, you can take the couch… I’ll go get you a pillow and blanket.” He walked away, but Tadashi was too tired and too drunk to wait for the blanket. So he laid down on the couch and closed his eyes.

What felt like hours later Tadashi felt something cover his body. He opened up his eyes to see Kei placing a blanket over him. He looked so sad. Tadashi racked his brain trying to figure out why he would be sad? Was it because of Jiro? Because he thought he was cheating on his brother?

“Jiro isn’t my boyfriend. We’ve never dated. Never will.” He voice was slurring more than before, probably because he was so tired as well as drunk now.

Kei jumped a little at his voice. He must have thought Tadashi was asleep. “I know… Sorry I thought otherwise.” Why was he apologizing? He didn’t do anything wrong. Kei gently picked up Tadashi’s head a little and placed a pillow under it. “Goodnight,” he said before turning around towards his room.

"Wait, Tsukki." Did he just stiffen at his name? "Come here.”

Kei slowly walked back to the  couch. Tadashi motioned him to lean down closer. He looked against it at first then leaned down towards Tadashi. When their faces was about a foot apart Tadashi slowly took his glasses off while he was still laying down.

"Don't sleep with your glasses on. They can break and hurt you."

"I wasn't going to."

"You did the first time I met you. You were sleeping with your glasses on"

"You're the one who took my glasses off at the hospital?"

Fuck how many times was he going to give himself up tonight?

Kei chuckled lightly. “I thought one of my dads did that.” Tadashi froze. This was definitely new. His eyes. They were different, very different. They didn’t look friendly like Akiteru’s nor as cold as they did when Tadashi first met him. They were happy, soft, loving, and warm, so, so warm that Tadashi had a hard time believing they could ever be described as cold.

At some point Kei must have realized Tadashi was staring into his eyes because he was doing the same now. Was Kei moving closer to him? Or was his drunkenness still messing with his space perception?

No, Kei was definitely moving closer to him. In the back of his mind Tadashi knew they shouldn’t be doing this, but Kei’s eyes were taking over Tadashi’s mind. How could he think about anything else when those eyes were looking directly into his. Anything else just didn’t make sense. The only way he could describe it was home. It made him feel at home, a place he meant to be.

Kei’s eyes started to close, so Tadashi closed his eyes. When Kei’s mouth finally met his he got the same feeling he had when looking into his eyes. Everything felt right again. So he kissed him back. Kei grabbed the back of Tadashi’s head to pull him closer and deepened the kiss. It was too much for Tadashi. The deep kiss, how it made him feel, Kei’s hands holding on to _him_. And poor Tadashi was so tired.

Tadashi didn’t know exactly when he fell asleep, but he didn’t open his eyes again after he closed them for the kiss. He couldn’t remember Kei leaving him either. That, to Tadashi, was the perfect way to fall asleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, memories of my first night out in Milwaukee. Fun times. Lots of tequila. I was just as awkward and cuddly as Yams was. And oddly enough the guy I was cuddling with was also an extremely tall blonde who loves dinosaurs! Ha! Okay next chapter includes another ship I wasn’t going to include in this fic, but just kinda happened. And more family love!
> 
> snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh! It’s been a month! I’m so, so sorry about the delay. This fic was actually supposed to be done by now. But my life has been hell. Just really, really bad. But hopefully things will be better now. Maybe. Eh anyways here is the next chapter. I’m so excited for these last four chapters! I’ve also written a daisuga prequel, but I won’t post that until after I post the last chapter. 
> 
> Also, big thanks to my beta-reader, [kettleowl](http://kettleowl.tumblr.com/), for helping me so much, keeping my confidence up, and caring about this fic as much as I do! Okay enjoy!

Tadashi hated the sun so, so much. So freaking much. Shouyou was lucky he wasn’t here. He reminded Tadashi of the sun and well he hated the sun that much at the moment.

Tadashi was lying on a couch with sunlight streaming in through two huge windows. “Ughhh…”

“You finally awake?”

Tadashi shot up at the sound of the voice. Bad, bad idea. Now he hated his head as much as the sun. “Tsukki?” His voice was raspy and dry. He needed water, but that wasn’t his main concern at the moment. Memories from the previous night started to flood his mind. Right… he went to a bar with Kei and his roommate. That was what lead to this awful pain in his head.

“How are you feeling?” Kei asked while setting a glass of water down next to Yamaguchi. He was wearing blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt. How was he standing? How was he doing anything other than lying down in pain like Tadashi? Didn’t he drink last night too?

“Are hangovers always this bad?” Tadashi asked after taking a few big gulps of water.

“When you take seven shots of tequila, yeah.”

“Wow, is that really how many I had?... How many did you have?”

“Four, I think. I’ve gotten used to saying ‘no’ to Kuroo when it comes to shots.” He sat down in the chair across for Tadashi. “Plus, I have the feeling I’m more of a drinker than you are.”

Tadashi laughed awkwardly and turned to hide his face a little, “Was I that obvious?”

Kei didn’t answer. In fact, he wasn’t looking at him at all. It was almost like he wasn’t there. _He must be upset with me._

“I’m sorry.”

That caught Kei’s attention. He finally looked at Tadashi. “For what?” For some reason he seemed nervous. But Tadashi had no clue what it could be. He was the one who got drunk beyond belief last night… Just then the cuddling part of previous night came back to Tadashi, causing him to put his water down and hold his head in his hands. He really was an idiot last night. A cuddly idiot who didn’t know personal boundaries.

“Well for getting drunk… and having to spend the night on your couch.” As if last night wasn’t embarrassing enough he had to pass out on Kei’s couch.

“Well we offered.”

“You did?” Tadashi asked. His brain was still a little too fuzzy.

“What do you remember from last night?”

“Um… the bar, Jiro, walking here. Then I remember lying down and I must have fallen asleep… Why? Did I say something weird?” Tadashi could hear the panic in his voice in the last question.

Kei wasn’t looking at him again. _Oh no, I must have done something. What did I do? Tell him the truth? That I’ve been lying to them for a week? Takeda is going to have to plan my funeral._

“No, nothing,” Kei said suddenly. But Tadashi wasn’t convinced. He just stared at Kei waiting for him to go on. Kei still wouldn’t look at him though so he didn’t notice. “But you probably shouldn’t drink tonight.”

Right, the New Year’s party at the Sugawaras. “Don’t worry. I don’t think I’m ever going to drink again.”

“Here.” Kei handed him two aspirins. “Finish the water too,” Kei said as he walked back into the kitchen. A second later he came back with another glass of water. “Drink this one after you finish that.”

Tadashi took the aspirin and water with gratitude, but in the back of his mind he knew Kei was lying. Tadashi knew he did something stupid last night, he must have with how weird Kei was acting. But if he did tell Kei the truth last night Tadashi was sure he would be dead already. It was clear he cared about Akiteru and the Sugawaras a lot. He wouldn’t let Tadashi back into their house if he knew the truth. He wouldn’t be offering him aspirin and water to rid him of his hangover. So maybe whatever he did wasn’t that bad?  

All of the sudden Tadashi heard a door in the hallway behind him open. “Don’t turn around,” Kei warned.

“What? Why?” Before he could stop himself he turned to see Kuroo walking from his bedroom to the bathroom across the hall, naked. Tadashi’s eyes went wide and he back turned around just as fast.

“How did you know he was…?”

“He’s always like that the morning after he gets drunk,” Kei said calming. His mind was obviously somewhere else, but what shocked Tadashi the most was how normal he was with Kuroo. He really was used to Kuroo’s nakedness. “So… last night…”  

“Yea?” Tadashi tried his best to finish his first glass of water, but had to stop every few sips. The nausea was coming now.

“... Nothing.” Kei looked nervous again.

Tadashi wanted to ask what was bothering him, but his body wouldn’t let him think about anything else but the idea of losing the contents in his stomach.

“Tsukki…” Tadashi laid his head back down on the sofa. “I really don’t want to add to my embarrassment by throwing up here. I think I’m going to go back to my apartment.”

“Sure… but…”

“Yeah?” _Don't throw up. Don't throw up._

“Nothing. I’ll call you a cab.”

 

***

 

Kei took a deep sigh while he  waited for the elevator to get to his brother’s floor. It was now early afternoon. Kei wasted the morning debating if he should come here (and trying not to think about Yamaguchi). Even with Akiteru in a coma he still felt like he couldn’t face his brother.

As soon as the elevator doors opened he saw Noya and Asahi waiting. “Hey, Kei. Came to see Akiteru?”

“Yeah, are you guys leaving already?”

Asahi nodded. “We still need to get Daichi a birthday present. But we’ll see you tonight, right?”

“Yeah, is anyone else here?”

“Nope, I think everyone’s at your house getting ready for the party. Bye!” Noya said as the elevator doors closed. He meant Yamaguchi, but of course they wouldn't think that.

Kei could just turn around and go back to his apartment. That was probably the easier decision. Instead he sighed and continued to Akiteru’s room. He didn’t look as weak as he did a week ago. His color was even coming back. There was a nurse in the room changing the bandage on his head.

“How is he?” Kei asked her.

“Good, no changes, but he’s looking better, isn’t he?” She said smiling at him.

“Yeah, that’s a good sign, right? He’ll wake up soon?” Kei was really starting to miss his brother. For him, the idea of anything else but Akiteru waking up wasn’t a possibility. His brother wouldn’t leave him like their parents did. Even when he got busy with law school he still made sure to keep in constant contact with Kei. So that just couldn’t happen. It wasn’t going to happen.

“Well it’s not 100% for sure, but I think it’s a good sign.”

A few minutes later the nurse walked out of the room, finished with Akiteru’s bandage, and left Kei alone with him.

“Hi Akiteru." Kei still wasn't used to talking to his brother while he was in a coma, but the doctors said it could help so he did it. It was annoying and a little embarrassing… but if it could help and he was alone, then why not?

"You really need to wake up soon. Things are getting... weird. And you missed Christmas. That was odd. Shouyou was my partner for some of the reindeer games. I don't know if I can forgive you for making me go through that... Maybe if you forgive me first."

He wanted to say more. He wanted to say that he was sorry and that when he kissed Yamaguchi it didn't mean anything, but that would have been a lie. So he said the best thing he could come up with that wasn't a lie.

"You come first. Just like I know I am with you. You and the Sugawaras. That's what most important."

_You come before him._ But he couldn't make himself say that out loud.

 

***

 

Tadashi spent the whole day in bed drinking water, eating crackers, and praying he would somehow live through this horrible hangover. His first hangover at 24. He wasn’t really sure if he should be proud or ashamed, but ashamed seemed to work for him every time he had to run to his bathroom due to nausea. By late afternoon he was finally started to feel human again. Just in time for the New Year’s Eve party at the Sugawaras.

In all honesty Tadashi still felt weird, but it didn’t seem like it had anything to do with his hangover and everything to do with Kei and the way he was acting that morning. Either way he decided not to let it get to him. Tonight he would just enjoy the new year with the Sugawaras.

After a half hour bath to help him feel more human, he got dressed as was out the door. There was snow frozen on the grass, but it wasn’t snowing anymore. Just really cold. But that was okay, Tadashi was prepared with a heavy coat and the scarf Hitoka made for him.

He was actually really looking forward to the party. Last time he was heading over the Sugawara’s he was nervous and questioning everything about his situation, but now he knew the Sugawaras and was comfortable around them. He’d gotten used to Shouyou’s energy, Hitoka’s affection, Suga and Daichi’s constant parental behavior, and… Kei. He felt like they wanted him there. He felt like family.

That thought made Tadashi stop walking. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. He shouldn’t be thinking of them as family. He wasn’t just lying to them anymore. He was lying to himself. He was literally on his way to spend New Year’s, a time meant to be spent with family, with the Sugawaras. Of course this was normal to the Sugawaras. They thought he was going to be part of their family soon. And Tadashi just went along with it now. When did he stop trying to tell them the truth? When did he just accept this lie?

Tadashi was starting to feel sick again, and now it wasn’t due to his hangover nor Kei. When did he become this person who willing lied to a kind, caring family because it made him feel better? He was being selfish. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t lie anymore. They were the kindest family and they didn’t deserve this. After a few deep breaths to calm himself down Tadashi quickly turned around back towards his apartment.

“Hey, Yamaguchi.” Tadashi turned around to see Tanaka calling after him. “Where are you going? The house is this way.”

Tadashi had two choices. He could tell Tanaka he was sick and go home or just go along with Tanaka to the Sugawaras and try to enjoy the night. Tadashi honestly couldn’t tell which one he wanted to do more. Luckily Tanaka didn’t give Tadashi time to decide. A second later he was jogging towards him.

“Are you okay? You look upset.”

“I… I don’t know if I should be going tonight,” Tadashi confessed.

Tanaka studied his face for a few seconds. “I have something to tell you... I know the truth.”

“Hm?” There’s no way he knew the real truth, what was making Tadashi feel like this.

“I heard you talking to Akiteru that first night… I know you’re not engaged to him.”

Apparently he could know the real truth. Tadashi stood completely still for a few second, then whispered “Should I be running for my life right now?”

Tanaka just laughed. “No, come on, let’s walk together.”

“Are you sure? I mean you know I probably shouldn’t be there tonight.” But Tanaka just pulled him along in the direction to the Sugawaras.

“I’ve thought a lot about this and I’m not going to tell them. I don’t think you should either.”

“What? Why?”

“I know how it must seem to you, but you are helping them more than you think. You’ve given them Akiteru back in a way. He hasn’t really been around these past few years and they’ve missed him. But with you around it’s like they get him too.”

Tadashi stared at the ground as they walked. It didn’t really make much sense to him, how he could bring them back to Akiteru. He had no connection to him. But then again all the Sugawaras knew about him from the beginning was that he was connected to Akiteru since they thought he was engaged to him.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t tell them the truth… just not right now. Not while Suga still tries to spend every night at the hospital and Hitoka spend every minute she can reading to Akiteru. They need a little more time.”

It sounded reasonable enough. “Okay. I'll wait.” Tadashi thought he would still feel nauseous when he agreed to keep lying to them, but he felt more relieved than anything else. He wouldn’t lose his family just yet.

Tanaka smiled at him. “Now walk faster. I think I’m about to get frostbite.”

When they got to the Sugawaras’ house it look pretty much the same as it did on Christmas, except now with a few New Year’s decorations. Although there was still some of the garland hanging off the staircase.

“Yamaguchi! Glad to see you’ve made it!” Daichi greeted him at the door.

“Sorry, the cold delayed us a bit,” Tanaka said walking into the living room.

“No worries. We’re still expecting a few more.” Tadashi took a look around the living room. No one seemed to be missing.

“Who else is coming?” Tadashi asked Daichi but was answered by Shouyou.

“Uncle Bokuto!!” Shouyou said while jumping what looked liked five feet into the air. Behind Tadashi walked in two more men. One who was strikingly beautiful and another with even wilder hair than Kuroo, but that was probably due to the color, white and black at the same time, and because it was sticking up in a way that seemed to defy gravity.

“Shouyou!” Bokuto yelled back at him, clearly happy to see him. “Keiji wouldn’t let me bring a volleyball, so we’ll have to use one of yours.”

“No volleyball inside the house!” Suga said from across the room.

“But it’s cold outside.” Despite the fact that the complaint sounded like it came from a five year old it actually came from Bokuto, who had to be around Daichi and Suga’s age.

“Koutarou, how about just no volleyball,” Keiji said, but it didn’t sound like suggestion.

Immediately Bokuto’s shoulders started to slouch with disappointment. “Okay…” But what Keiji didn’t see was an excited Shouyou pulling Bokuto along upstairs.

“More family members?” Tadashi asked Daichi.

“Well I guess so. Koutarou and Keiji are really close friends, but they don’t have relatives, so they just spend New Year’s with us. Plus Keiji was the one who brought us Kei and Akiteru, so I guess they’re like family.”

“Keiji was the social worker who worked their case?” Tadashi asked while looking at the man who was now in their living room starting some card game with Hitoka.

“Yeah. Sometimes I think if they wanted children he would have adopted them himself. He really took their case to heart.” Tadashi looked at Daichi expecting to see a sad face, but instead he was smiling. “He really cares about them; he did from the very beginning. Come on, let’s watch Hitoka beat Keiji. He has no clue what he’s in for.” Daichi said leading Tadashi to the living room.

 

***

 

A few hours later most of the Sugawaras were relaxing in the living room, many looking like they were about to fall asleep. Hitoka already was, with her head resting in Asahi’s lap.

“Poor thing, didn’t even make it till midnight,” Asahi said. “Should I take her upstairs?”

“Nah, she’ll want to be down here at midnight. She’ll probably wake up soon,” Suga answered. He was resting his head on Daichi who was still wearing a birthday crown Hitoka made for him. Of course Tadashi had no clue it was his birthday when he came but not fifteen minutes after arriving they were wishing him a happy birthday while cutting into his birthday cake.

“Daichi, she’s asleep now. You can take off the crown,” Noya teased while eating another piece of cake.

“No, don’t. He looks adorable in it,” Suga mumbled from Daichi’s side causing him to laugh.

Just then there was a loud crash from upstairs. “Where is Shouyou?” Daichi asked.

“And Koutarou?” Earlier Keiji found them attempting to practice volleyball receives in Shouyou’s bedroom, which then lead to him getting a scowling look from his husband. Tadashi assumed they would have learned their lesson after getting caught once. Apparently not.

“I’ll take care of it,” Suga said rubbing his eyes and leaving Daichi’s side to head upstairs.

Tadashi watched Suga leave then turned his attention to the family. Noya and Tanaka heading to the dinner table to start a new game. After Suga brought Shouyou and Koutarou back downstairs (and lectured them a bit), they joined everyone while they watched something on the TV. Tadashi wasn’t too interested in whatever it was. He was more focused on the family, how they acted with each other, how everything felt so comfortable and familiar, even though he had only known them for a little over a week. They were smiling, laughing, loving together. And he was apart of it, at least for the time being.

This was what he wanted. He wanted a family again; he wanted a place where he was safe and loved, a place where he belonged. Ever since his father died it had been difficult to find that feeling again. He thought maybe he would find it in his bookstore, but was never really brave enough to find out.

But he found it here with the Sugawaras. They were so loving and welcoming it was almost inevitable. But it wasn’t meant to be. After they calmed down a little about Akiteru and his condition he would tell them the truth. He would be out of their lives again.

Tadashi was lost in thought when he noticed Kei move past him and into the kitchen. It seemed he wasn’t interested in talking to Tadashi at all since he had been avoiding him all night. It’s not like Tadashi hadn’t tried. He attempted to talk to Kei at least three times since he had gotten there, but each time Kei would excuse himself. Clearly something was wrong, but no one else seemed to noticed. Probably because he was only neglecting Tadashi. Around everyone else he was just his normal self.  

Tadashi must have been staring off in space while he was thinking because suddenly Shouyou was right in front of him looking at him worriedly. “Yamaguchi, are you okay?”

“Of course,” He answered with a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well you looked deep in thought. What are you thinking about? Worried about Akiteru? I’m sure he’ll be fine. The doctors are saying he’s looking better, right?”

Shouyou was concerned… for him. Shouyou cared about him. He should have been happy about that, but for some reason it made his heart ache. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” Tadashi gave him a large smile, hoping Shouyou would believe him when he said he was okay.

He seemed to buy it because a second later he sat down next to Tadashi and leaned in closely whispering, “I have a question for you…” Shouyou wasn’t looking at Tadashi though. He was glaring around the room, making sure no one was listening to them.

“Um… okay.”

“So when you and my brother… started dating… how did you do that?”

“Hm?” Definitely not what he was expecting.

Shouyou started to fidget. “Like how’d you ask him out or how’d he ask you out?

“Um… well, it’s a bit difficult to explain…” Tadashi let out an awkward giggle. Did he really want to know about his brother’s love life?

Shouyou sighed deeply. “I think… I want to ask someone out and I don’t know how… Like I really, _really_ don’t like this person. They drive me crazy sometimes… but I also think I really, _really_ like them. So I don’t know how to do it.”

Tadashi eyes widened. _Definitely_ not the position he would be in tonight. “Oh… well I think maybe just ask them to go somewhere together? Somewhere you know they’ll like?” Tadashi really wasn’t the person to ask for love advice. Poor Shouyou.

“Oh! We can go play volleyball together!”

“Maybe something they’ll like as much as you do.”

“Oh he likes volleyball. We play together all the time.”

Tadashi laughed. “Okay then maybe something you guys don’t do all the time so they know it’s a date.”

Shouyou rested his head in his hand. “This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”

All of the sudden there were bells ringing from a distance interrupting their conversation, much to Tadashi’s pleasure.

“Ah! It’s midnight!” Koutarou exclaimed and ran right towards Shouyou and Tadashi. With all his energy and excitement he managed to pick up both in a tight hug and screamed “Happy New Year!” No wonder Shouyou and him got along so well. But then he ran off towards Keiji.

After a minute or two of excitement everyone seemed to be in their own world now, wishing each other a happy new year. For some reason this made Tadashi sad, like he was still missing something. Daichi and Suga were in the corner of the kitchen, somewhat making out. Did they really think they were being discrete? Asahi and Noya were missing, probably also making out somewhere, and Shouyou ran off with Hitoka to play “just one more” card game against Keiji and Koutarou.

Just then Tadashi looked out the dining room window to see Tanaka and Kei talking in the backyard. Their discussion seemed to be serious, so he didn’t want to interrupt, but the thought of Kei ignoring him all night still upset him. He wanted to know what happened to cause Kei to act like this.

Then he saw his opportunity when Tanaka walked back inside. Tadashi slipped through the door with two mugs of hot chocolate. Kei was staring up at the night sky, not taking notice in Tadashi.

“Cold?” Tadashi said handing him one of the mugs.

“Oh… Thanks.” Kei took the mug, but didn’t really look at Tadashi. _Time to be direct._

Tadashi took a deep breath. “What did I do last night?” he asked bluntly.

Kei looked at him with confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You’re ignoring me… It’s because of something I did last night, right?”

Kei looked down, like he was truly troubled by something. But before Tadashi could comment on it Kei turned towards the door. “No, you didn’t do anything,” Kei said before he walked back inside.

Tadashi was left feeling unsettled and unsuccessful. Something was obviously wrong. Something happened, even if it wasn’t about last night, something had to happen to make Kei act like this around him. And Tadashi just wanted to know what so he could fix it, but Kei wouldn’t tell him.

After a huff of frustration Tadashi headed back inside.

“Hey, Suga, where’s the bathroom?”

“I think Noya’s using it right now, but you can use the one upstairs. All the way at the end of the hall.”

“Okay. Thanks,” Tadashi said as he headed up the stairs.

As Tadashi walked down the hall he noticed most of the doors were closed except one, so he assumed it was the bathroom. It was one of the two doors at the end of the hall. But when he looked in there was no sink or toilet. Instead there were two beds, one on each side of the room. There was a dim light coming from a nightlight allowing Tadashi to just barely make out where everything was. Both beds were simple, blue sheet and a few pillows, but the bed to the right had a green stuffed dinosaur on it. _That must be Tsukki’s._

He walked into the room, not really thinking about what he was doing, and picked up the dinosaur. It looked old, faded from age, but was still adorable. Tadashi smiled. After a few moment he realized it wasn’t because he thought the dinosaur was cute, but because it made him think Kei was cute, well cuter now. It was on his bed so he probably used to sleep with it. A cute little Tsukki falling asleep with a plush dinosaur every night. Was there anything else in this world cuter? Tadashi started to play with its tail a little while he smiled at the thought.

“You’re a grown man playing with a stuffed dinosaur.” Tadashi jumped from the sound of Kei’s voice.

“Oh, hi Tsukki.” Kei was leaning on the door frame, like he’d been standing there awhile. “Came to see your dinosaur?” Tadashi said with a smile, letting go of his frustration with Kei for the moment. The dinosaur didn’t need to see that after all.

Kei just gave him an annoyed looked as he walked into the room. At least he wasn’t running away again.

“I wonder what kind of dinosaur he is.”

“Sauropods. You don’t know that?” Kei really looked offended at Tadashi’s lack of dinosaur knowledge.

“You do?”

“I’m getting my graduate degree in Paleontology. It would be pretty pitiful if I didn’t”

“Wow, you’ve really taken this to the extreme.”

“Hey.”

Tadashi laughed. “Sorry, Tsukki.”

“Aren’t you the one who wants to open a bookstore because you love to read so much? I don’t think you have any room to judge.”

“That’s true,” Tadashi said turning his attention back to the dinosaur in his hands.

“... So you never did tell me why you haven’t.”

“Haven’t what?”

“Open your bookstore. I mean you have the money. The degree. Why don’t you?”

“It’s a bit… complicated.” Kei didn’t say anything, but Tadashi could tell he wanted to know more. “It’s just hard. I don’t think I can do it alone.”

“But you’re not alone.” Tadashi could hear the sincerity in his voice. “You have Akiteru… and us.”

_No, I don’t._

“It’s harder to explain than that… I think it has more to do with me than anything else. Not who’s around me.”

Something told him Kei didn’t like that answer. He was going to push for a real answer, so before he could Tadashi changed the subject. “So do you still sleep with a dinosaur?” he asked in a teasing tone.

Kei gave him a look. “Obviously not. He’s here, not at my apartment.”

“Ha! So you did sleep with him! That’s so cute, Tsukki!” Kei started to blush, but Tadashi just laughed. “Was he the one who reminded you to take off your glasses before going to bed?”

“No, that’s you,” Kei replied quietly. Suddenly Kei’s body stiffened.

“What do you mean?” But Kei didn’t have to answer him. Tadashi started to remember slowly… he took off Kei’s glasse last night. He didn’t just fall asleep on the couch. Kei came back with a blanket for him… and they…

Slowly Tadashi sat down on Kei’s old bed, still holding on to his green dinosaur. “Kei… last night... did we…?”

Kei took a deep breath. “You remember now?” Tadashi just slowly nodded. “Look, I’m sorry. We were both drunk, you more than me, but… it doesn’t mean anything. You were probably just missing your fiance...”

Tadashi was only half listening to Kei. His brain was mostly filled with remembering the kiss. The really, _really_ good kiss. Tadashi hadn’t kissed many people in his life, but he still knew that kiss was no ordinary kiss. “That was a really good kiss,” Tadashi said not realizing he said it out loud.

Kei sat down next to Tadashi on the bed. “What?”

“Oh! Sorry, I just… sorry.” Tadashi looked down. Of course that kiss didn’t mean anything to him. He was drunk. He’d just said so. He said it didn’t mean anything. Plus he thought Tadashi was engaged to his brother.

“It was a good kiss,” Kei said quietly.

Tadashi looked up at him hopefully. Kei didn’t look as hopeful though. He looked conflicted.

“You’re engaged to my brother.” That one line should have taken all the hope Tadashi had, but now he was looking at Kei’s eyes closely again and for some reason the conflicted look in them gave Tadashi more hope.

He wanted to kiss Kei again. In the back of his mind he knew he shouldn’t be thinking that. He shouldn’t be leaning closer to Kei, like Kei did last night. But he didn’t allow that thought to take over. He wanted to see if the kiss felt the same now that he was sober, because there was no way a kiss could be that good.

Kei seemed to notice Tadashi moving closer to him, but he didn’t move away. He didn’t move closer to him either though, so Tadashi stopped with their faces just a few inches apart.

It was just like last night. It wasn’t the alcohol that made his brain fuzzy, okay maybe it was a little, but it was mostly due to Kei’s eyes. Tadashi knew this now because his brain was just as fuzzy. Kei still gave him that feeling, home, somewhere he belonged. The feeling he so desperately wanted.

Just then he heard someone clear their throat from the room’s door. Both Tadashi and Kei jumped a little and turned to see Keiji standing there. Tadashi couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like Keiji was concerned. “The hospital called. They want us to get down there right away.”

“What? Why?”

“Is Akiteru okay?”

Keiji nodded. “He’s awake.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now things get more complicated. 
> 
> So just a little insight into what’s going on with Tsukki (since this chapter was mainly from Yams pov). Obviously he’s going to feel conflicted about what he did, thinking he betrayed his brother by kissing his fiance and all. So in his mind he has to choose between them since he can’t have Yams and not betray Akiteru or vice versa. Basically he doesn’t think he can have it all. And of course he’s going to pick his brother. ( _You come before him_ ). They’ve been through a lot with their parents dying and going to the Sugawaras together. He’s family. But he’s also falling in love with Yams really quickly. So in his mind he’s having a Sophie's choice moment. My point isn’t to make him make this awful decision, but to show that he loves Yams (or is starting to love him) as much as he loves Akiteru, but of course in a different way!! And that is starting to mess with Tsukki because he thinks his brother is in love with Yams too. 
> 
> When you love someone that much they become part of your family. One big theme in this fic is that love makes a family, not a name or blood, and that theme is starting to show!! Yay!! It’ll be especially big in the last chapter and the daisuga prequel. 
> 
>  
> 
> [snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com](http://snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com/)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah. Once more I’m so sorry for the delay in this chapter. As you’ve probably guessed my life hasn’t really gotten better. And it’s probably going to get a bit worse before it gets better since I won’t get to go home for Christmas this year. My first Christmas (and birthday) away from my family. I feel like Tadashi in the first chapter. Oh well. Maybe it’ll somehow be a blessing in disguise. 
> 
> Okay enjoy! And, as always, thank you to my lovely beta-reader, [kettleowl](http://kettleowl.tumblr.com/)!

“So he seems completely fine. He woke up about an hour ago, but has been a little delirious, so we haven’t really gotten him to talk much,” Doctor Hamasaki explained.

“Can we see him?” Suga looked ready to push pass the doctors to get to Akiteru.

“Yes, yes, right this way.” Doctor Hamasaki led the family into his room, but Tadashi stayed back contemplating what he should do. Unfortunately Shouyou wasn’t having that. A second later Tadashi was being pulled into the room.  

“Shouyou, maybe I should wait outside. I mean there’s already a lot of people in the room.”

“Are you kidding? Akiteru will want to see his fiance first!”

_Well he’d probably want to know he had a fiance first._

With one final push from Shouyou, Tadashi was in the hospital room, looking at Tanaka desperately, but he just shrugged and gave Tadashi a sympathetic look. Not much help. The Sugawaras were surrounding Akiteru’s bed, Daichi and Suga on each side with everyone else filling in the space making it so Tadashi could barely see Akiteru.

“Dads…?” Akiteru eyes were still droopy and tired. His voice wasn’t much better.

“Hey, Akiteru,” Suga said with the biggest smile on his face. “How are you feeling?”

A weak moan left Akiteru’s throat as he tried to sit up. “Sore... What happened?”

“You were in an accident, but it’s okay. You’re okay now.”

“Now?”

“You were in a coma!” Shouyou shouted while jumping so he could see over everyone. Tadashi, on the other hand, was currently hiding behind Asahi hoping no one would notice.

“A coma? How long was I out?”

“A little over a week,” Daichi answered while moving so Shouyou could move closer to Akiteru. “You don’t remember the mugging?”

“I was mugged?” Akiteru’s voice was getting more and more concerned.

“Not technically. They tried, but Yamaguchi saved you.” At his name Tadashi’s anxiety started to rise.

“Who?”

_Oh no, here it comes._ Yamaguchi looked towards the door once more.

“Yamaguchi, your fiance,” Suga answered now holding on to one of Akiteru’s hands.

“Fiance?!”

_Here it comes. Here it comes._ Tadashi was holding his eyes closed tightly when suddenly he felt someone grab his arm and pull him in front of everyone else.

“Yes, Yamaguchi,” Noya said pointing at him. But Akiteru just looked at him with a blank expression. For the first time in over a week he was looking into Akiteru’s eyes again, but it didn’t feel the same. Maybe it was his anxiety, which was in overload at the moment, but Akiteru’s eyes didn’t have the same effect they had on him before all of this happened.

More importantly though, Akiteru was staring at Tadashi with no recollection of who he was. “Who?”

Tadashi probably should have tried to tell them the truth one more time before they came into the room. Now he was going to have to do it in front of everyone, including a man who just woke up from a coma. “Umm… well…” Tadashi started to stammer. Not that it mattered. No one was looking at him.

“Oh my god,” Noya gasped. “He’s has amnesia.”

Tadashi just turned to look at Noya in disbelief.

 

***

 

“Selective amnesia is a form of amnesia where the patient loses part of their memories,” Doctor Hamasaki explained about fifteen minutes later. Everyone truly believed Akiteru had amnesia, even the doctors. Maybe he did? He didn’t remember the mugging or Tadashi at all. Even if they didn’t speak much Akiteru should still be able to recognize the man who made his coffee everyday, right? Maybe not his name, but at least his face.   

“It looks like he remembers all of you.” The doctor gestured to the Sugawaras. “So that’s good, but he doesn’t remember the accident. For now we’ll just have to wait. Since he hit his head and has been in a coma for the past week this was a possibility, but there was no way to know until he woke up.”

“Will he get his memories back?” Daichi asked. Everyone was now in the waiting room right outside Akiteru’s hospital room listening closely to what Doctor Hamasaki was saying.

“There is no way to know for sure. We’ll only know with time.”

“Is there anything else wrong with him?” Kei asked.

“We’re still running some tests, but otherwise it looks like he’ll make a complete physical recovery.” Just then a nurse came out from Akiteru’s room and called for the doctor. “Excuse me.”

“It could be worse,” Daichi said. “At least he’ll make a full recovery.”

“But what about Tadashi?!” Shouyou shouted, clearly upset for him.

Suga and Daichi each took a seat beside Tadashi. “He’s right. This must be really hard for you,” Suga said while placing an arm around him. “Are you okay?”

“Um, look. I really need to tell you all—”

“Mr. and Mr. Sugawara, can I ask you a few questions?” Doctor Hamasaki asked cutting Tadashi off.

“We’ll be right back.” Daichi said while giving Tadashi a quick pat on his back.

Tadashi rested his head between his legs and took a deep breath. This was becoming too much and he was so tired.

“Were you really about to tell them the truth?” Tanaka said in a hushed voice. Tadashi turned to make sure the others weren't paying attention.

“How can I not? They think he has amnesia!”

“Well that not completely wrong. He doesn’t remember the mugging. He should remember that, right?”

“...Yeah, there was a struggle, so he should remember that… but he shouldn’t have to think he’s engaged to me.” Tadashi rubbed his tired eyes. The stress was really starting to affect him. Well that and the fact that it was 3 am on New Years.

Tanaka looked at Tadashi with concern. “Look, why don’t you just go home and rest? You look like you need it.”

“What? I can’t just leave.”

“You look exhausted and everyone thinks your fiance no longer recognizes you. I think they’ll understand. I’ll just tell them you need some time.”

The idea of sleeping in his own bed did sound really good… plus it would give him time to gather the courage to break the news to the Sugawaras.

“Okay. I’ll go rest… then figure out what to do.”

 

***

 

Tadashi honestly meant to try to figure out what do. He really did. But as soon as he got home at 4 am he ended up sleeping for about 10 hours straight. Apparently he really needed the rest. When Tadashi woke up he opened his eyes to see a book on his nightstand that he’d been meaning to read. After the hell of the past few days, the guilt of lying, and the feeling he was starting to have for Kei… well the book really seemed like the only way to deal with all of this, even though it wasn’t dealing. It was escaping.

But that was what Tadashi did all afternoon and evening, escaped from his world and into the book. He didn’t even try to think of some way to tell the Sugawaras he’s been lying to them without them hating his guts. Maybe that was his way of just accepting his fate. He was going to make a mess of things, but for now at least he didn’t have to worry about it.

Unfortunately Tadashi wasn’t able to keep that same mindset the next day at work.

“Wow, so not only did you spend Christmas in the hospital, but New Year's as well? That’s really unlucky,” Takeda said the next day at the coffee shop. The morning rush had just died down. Now it was just them and a group of high school students enjoy their break left in the store.

“I think I have worse problems in my life than where I spent my holidays!”

“Hm, so I’m going to skip asking why you didn’t just tell them the truth since I think I know better now and just go on what’s going on with the guy in the coma.”

“W- what do you mean?” Tadashi decided cleaning the counters was more interesting at that moment. But even with his focus on making the coffee stains disappear Tadashi still felt Takeda eyes on him, waiting for him to give in.

“I think… I think I’m falling in love,” Tadashi said carefully.

“How do you fall in love with someone while they’re in a coma?”

“Not with Akiteru… with Tsukki.”

“Who is ‘Tsukki’?!” Hearing Takeda say Kei’s nickname made Tadashi laugh, even though he was obviously not in a laughing mood.

“His brother.”

“Wait, let me get this straight. While you were in a fake engagement to a guy in a coma, you fell in love with your fiance’s brother?”

Tadashi sighed. “You know, I tell you this stuff thinking it’ll help me some how. Hasn’t worked out yet.”

“Sorry, sorry. Just wanted to make sure I fully understood the situation,” Takeda said sounding truly sympathetic.

“Well the situation is I’m completely screwed.”

Takeda placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I know it looks like that now, but I’m sure everything will work out.”

“I don’t know. I mean… there is no way Tsukki could forgive me after what I’ve done… but the night before last, he was looking at me  like he wanted to kiss me again. What if he—”

“Wait, again? You’ve kissed him? You cheated on your fake fiance?”

“It wasn’t cheating! I’m not engaged to him!”

“But this ‘Tsukki’ guy thinks you are.”

Tadashi took a second to let it sink in. “Oh my god. Tsukki thinks I’m a cheater.” Now Tadashi felt like an even worse person. In his mind he added ‘cheating’ along with lying and deceiving to the list of horrible things he has done in the past week and a half. How could Kei possibly like someone like that?  

“If I was him I would probably be more concerned about kissing my brother’s fiance,” Takeda said.

Tadashi groaned. “This is truly an awful situation.”

“It’ll be fine. If anything you can take hope in the fact this will be over soon.”

Takeda was right. This all had to end soon. Akiteru was awake now. There’s no way this lie could go on for much longer. But, to Tadashi, that also meant he was going to lose the Sugawaras soon. He was going to lose Kei.

Just then Tadashi heard the front door to the shop open. “Thanks, time to get back to work,” Tadashi said heading back to the register, grateful for the distraction. What he didn’t expect was to see Tanaka standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too! I was hoping we could talk.”

What was there to talk about? How everything was about to blow up in his face? But still Tadashi just said, “Sure, I can take a break.”

Tadashi quickly grabbed two cups of coffee and took a seat at a table off in the corner.

Before Tadashi could even ask what he wanted to talk about Tanaka started rambling. “Look, I know you must be feeling a lot of pressure right now, but I want to help. I feel… responsible. I told you not to tell them and then Akiteru wakes up and well everything just got so messy so fast. But I think I can fix it.”

“What do you mean? How?”

“I’m going to talk to them,” Tanaka answered simply.

Tadashi studied Tanaka for a moment. “You’re…?”

“I’m going to tell them what happened.”

Tadashi looked at him skeptically. “Shouldn’t I do that?”

“I’m not just going to them that… I want to explain everything from your side. How crazy everything was that first day at the hospital and how you’re still a great person who has helped this family a great deal. I think if I explain everything without you being there, it’ll help.”

It did sound nice, having the burden lifted off his shoulders. Plus Tanaka looked so determined to help him, yet there was still something inside him telling him he needed to be the one to do this. But that didn’t matter at the moment. That wouldn’t make Tanaka feel better. Obviously he was feeling guilting too, so if this helped him then Tadashi would let him believe he could take care of it. “Okay, thank you. I appreciate your help.”

Tanaka smiled. “You’re welcome. Don’t stop by the hospital today. I’ll tell them everything tomorrow morning and let you know how it goes.”

That just meant he would have to tell them the truth before tomorrow. “Sure, I’ll talk to you then.”

 

***

 

“Really, it was awful. Shouyou made us lose almost every game. You think his energy would be good for something. Guess not,” Kei said later that afternoon in Akiteru’s hospital room. He had pretty much been there all day, as well as Shouyou and Hitoka. “Even when you do get married you have to promise me we’ll still be partners for all reindeer games.”  

“If I get married… I still can’t believe I’m engaged.” Akiteru was sitting up in bed eating a pretty unpleasant hospital lunch.

“Neither can I… So you really don’t remember anything about Yamaguchi?” Kei asked. He had to remember something. You can’t just forget someone like Yamaguchi. _At least I never could._

“Nope, nothing.”

“Not even how you meet? At the coffee shop he works at?”

Akiteru took a moment to really think about it. “Wait… maybe I think I do,” Akiteru took a deep breath. “I’m not sure. This sucks. I’ve finally I found someone who I want to spend my life with and I don’t even remember him…” Akiteru looked truly upset. “What do you think of him?”

“Hm?”

“Yamaguchi. You’ve gotten to know him, right?”

“Um, yeah. He seems okay.”

“Okay?... Okay enough to marry?”

Kei couldn’t look Akiteru in the eyes. This felt like some kind of cruel joke, having to tell his brother about his own fiancè that he no longer remembered… and the person he was starting to have feelings for, not that Kei would admit it.

Yes, he was good enough to marry. More than good enough. He was sweet, patient, gentle, funny. He deserved someone like Akiteru who was also kind and who would take care of him. “Honestly… Yamaguchi is a great guy. You’re really lucky… to have found him.” ...first.

“Wow, he must be great for you to say that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Akiteru let out a gentle laugh. “Nothing, nothing.”

Kei didn’t want to talk about Yamaguchi anymore. It was too hard. Time to change the subject. “You know, dads were kinda hoping now that you’re engaged you would maybe spend more time with them…”

Akiteru layed back down on his bed with his arms behind his head. “Yeah… I think I will. But not just because of Yamaguchi… I think… I think it’s time to go back home.”

Now Kei was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I think I’m going to quit my job.”

“What?”

“I know I haven’t been there long… but I just know, that isn't the place for me. It’s too… corporate. It’s not what I was hoping for. I think I’m going to look for another law firm that more… human. And I think that means... “

Kei started laughing. “Really? You want to work for Uncle Tanaka?”

 

***

 

After his talk with Yamaguchi earlier that day Tanaka was determined to help him. Yamaguchi shouldn’t have feel all this stress and blame alone. After all he could have told everyone so much sooner as well. Plus he was the one who told him not to tell them yet. He was just as much to blame… maybe even more so than Yamaguchi. So as much as he knew he should tell them the truth Tanaka still felt like he could find a way to fix this all… and maybe even without anyone getting upset with Yamaguchi. He was a good kid. He didn’t deserve to go through this.

It’s not like he thought the Sugawaras would take it hard. They all saw him as family already, but they probably wouldn’t be happy about it either. There had to be a way to keep Yamaguchi a part of their family without the whole family getting upset. As soon as he left the coffee shop a plan started to come to Tanaka. Not a full plan just yet, but it seemed like it could work. He just needed to talk with Akiteru.

That was why he was back at the hospital when he should have gone back to work. He needed to get this plan going as soon as possible. Just before he walked into Akiteru’s room he heard Kei’s voice.

“Honestly… Yamaguchi is a great guy. You’re really lucky… to have found him.”

Even Kei was on board with Yamaguchi. Akiteru and Kei kept their conversation going, but Tanaka couldn’t pay attention. He was too concern with this plan, filling in all the blanks, figuring out exactly what he would say, how he should say it. He had to keep him part of this family. Now that he knew how sweet Yamaguchi was… he had to help him.

Just as Tanaka was about to walk in the room once more he heard Kei speak again.

“Really? You want to work for Uncle Tanaka?” He heard Kei say while laughing, but Tanaka smiled.

Tanaka took a step into the room now, revealing he was listening. “And what would be so bad about that?” Tanaka said amused by the idea. “I think that’s would be great!”

Kei looked annoyed, probably because he was eavesdropping, but Akiteru seemed pleased with his statement. “Really? You think so?”

“Yes! I would love to work with my nephew!”

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Kei said, still annoyed.

“Ah, yes, but I… can I talk to Akiteru alone for a moment?”

Kei just shrugged and got up from his seat. “I’ll go see if I can find you some real food.”

Once Kei was gone Tanaka took his seat and breathed deeply. “We need to talk about Yamaguchi.”

“What about him?” Akiteru said with a concerned voice.

“Well you don’t remember him…” Akiteru nodded for him to go on. “And I don’t think he’s taking it very well.”

Akiteru looked away, probably thinking about the fact that he hadn’t seen Yamaguchi in almost a day and a half. “Oh no… What can I do? Of course, he would be upset! I’m supposed to be in love with him, but I don’t even remember one thing about him!”

“Look, I just don’t think it’s fair to Yamaguchi. He’s a good guy. You can’t keep him attached when you don’t even remember him. You can’t be engaged to him if you don’t remember loving him, if you don’t love him. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Akiteru face turned very serious. When he finally spoke again his voice was firm, but quiet. “What do you think I should do?”

“Next time you see him I think you should talk to him, see how he makes you feel. See if you remember him. If you don’t I think it would fair, for both you and him, to let him go so neither of you get hurt anymore.”

“...But what if I do remember him? What if I see why I fell in love with him?”

Tanaka wasn’t prepared for this question. He didn’t even consider that Akiteru would see that as a possibility. _Well he won’t remember Yamaguchi, so that won’t be a problem._ “Then you should propose again and marry him before he can get away.”

 

***

 

_Don’t be a coward._ Tadashi was standing in the waiting room on Akiteru’s floor. He had been there for about thirty minutes without running into anyone, so he assumed no one was there for the late evening. It was probably for the best, just to tell Akiteru first, so that he wouldn’t keep trying to remember an engagement that never happened.

It wasn’t that Tadashi didn’t want Tanaka to tell them, nor that he didn’t trust him to take care of it, but it felt too cowardly. He was the one who started this mess (well actually it was the nurse, but he didn’t help), so he should be the one to fix it. It didn’t seem right to let Tanaka handle it all alone. So he was going to do it. He was going to tell Akiteru they were never engaged that night before Tanaka had the chance to.

When Tadashi entered the room he saw Akiteru resting in his bed while watching something on the TV, but as soon as he turned to see Tadashi his whole face brighten. His kind eyes were back, but instead of thinking how amazing they were all Tadashi could think about was how they reminded him of Kei’s. They were very similar, but there was something more gentle about Kei’s when they were alone, when he kiss him the night he got drunk. But then again, Tadashi knew they had the power to be cold and unforgiving. That thought made it hard for him to go along with the reason he was there… but he still had to do it.

“Yamaguchi! Oh, I’m sorry, did I use to call you Yamaguchi or Tadashi?”

Tadashi smiled. He was just as kind as he imagined. “Whatever you’re comfortable with is okay with me.”

“You’re too kind. Always thinking of me,” Akiteru said, but he looked more solemn than Tadashi would have thought. “Please, come sit.”

“Oh, okay.” Tadashi had been in this room so many times before, but now that Akiteru was awake everything felt different, more awkward and uncomfortable. “H- how are you feeling?”

“Great. A little headache every now and then, but the doctors say that’s normal.”

“Well, that’s good一 not that you have headaches, but I- I just, I mean it could be worse.”

Akiteru laughed at Tadashi stammering. “Yes, it could be a lot worse, and I believe I have you to thank for that, for saving my life I mean.”

Tadashi looked down as he felt his face heat up. “Of course, I was happy to do it.”

“So I heard you spent Christmas with my family. I’m sure that was an experience.” Akiteru was clearly trying to make him feel more comfortable and Tadashi was grateful for it.

“Yes, it was amazing. Your family really is the best.”

Akiteru laughed at this. “They certainly are something. They keep things interesting. I’ve been somewhat avoiding them these past few years… but that’s going to change now that I’m with you.”

As nice as that was to hear, Tadashi didn’t want to hear it right before he was about to ruin everything with the Sugawaras. _Now. I need to do this now, before it becomes too much_. Just as Tadashi opened his mouth Akiteru interrupted him without knowing it.

“They all love you, but I’m sure you know that. Even Kei said I was lucky to have you and he doesn't give praise very much. It’s amazing if he even acknowledges you sometimes.”

“He said that?” Tadashi asked. “What else did he say?” But Akiteru ignored the question.

All of the sudden Akiteru grabbed Tadashi’s hand. “I know this must be hard for you, but I think I know how to make it better. In just these past few minutes I can see why family loves you so much. You are truly a great guy. And since I loved you before the accident I know I will love you again. Yama一 no Tadashi, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

In the past few weeks Tadashi had had many surprises, from saving a man’s life to somehow starting the biggest lie of his life. But this… this was the biggest surprise yet.

“What?” Tadashi whispered trying to figure out if maybe this was all a dream.

“Please, marry me,” Akiteru said once more.

“But… but you don’t know me.” It seemed Tadashi was now on autopilot, not really knowing what he was saying.

“I know… but I used to. And I will again. All I know is that I found someone I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with and I don’t want to let that go. We were in love just a few weeks ago, so why can’t we still be in love? If it’s just my memories stopping us, then I know I’ll come to love you again. So please marry me?”

He should just tell Akiteru the truth, Tadashi knew this, but the shock overcame him. The stress from the past week was too much. All he could do was stare at Akiteru with wide eyes, unable to speak.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it was going to get more complicated. 
> 
> So fair warning the next chapter is going to hurt. I have three main scenes in my outline for the next chapter and they are all so fucking painful. I’m actually really excited to write them. Lol. 
> 
>  
> 
> [snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com](http://snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com/)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry. Please don't hate me! Between this chapter and the iwaoi fic I posted a few days ago I feel like I’m apologizing a lot! But I actually really enjoyed writing this. lol. 
> 
> As always, big thanks to my lovely beta-reader, [kettleowl](http://kettleowl.tumblr.com/)!!!

This couldn’t be happening. Maybe he was dreaming? Maybe he was hallucinating? Oh no, he was finally losing it. Tadashi had been pacing in the waiting room for about ten minutes now, completely at a loss about what to do. 

Okay, deep down Tadashi knew what to do. Tell the truth. Stop this once and for all. But in this case it didn’t feel like the truth would set him free. It would make him lose his family. Tadashi’s hands started to shake. He took this as a sign he needed to stop everything一 pacing, thinking一 and just breathe for a second. So he did, leaning up against a wall in the empty waiting room and closing his eyes, while telling himself everything was going to be okay. But no matter how many times he said it he couldn’t make himself believe it. He was going to lose them soon… or he could marry Akiteru一No! He couldn’t do that to Akiteru. He didn’t deserve that. He wanted to stay apart of their family, but not like that. 

And then there was Kei. The kiss. The almost kiss on New Years. His eyes. The feeling he gave Tadashi. Well that wasn’t helping Tadashi calm down. In all honesty Kei was probably the biggest part of this freak out. After New Years it was clear to Tadashi. He was starting to have feelings for Kei… and maybe Kei was feeling the same? After all he did kiss him first and he didn’t move away during their almost kiss. But Kei thought he was engaged to his brother… What he would give to be fake engaged to Kei instead of Akiteru. 

Tadashi sat down and held his head in his hands as he stared at the floor. This whole thing turned into such a big mess. A huge, huge mess. Maybe he should have just let Tanaka handle it. Surely it wouldn’t have turned out this bad if he had. 

Tadashi must had been too engrossed in his thoughts. He didn’t hear the footsteps coming his way nor them stopping a few feet away from him. 

“What are you doing here so late?” Kei asked, not bothering with a greeting. But once Tadashi looked up and Kei saw the look in his eyes he forgot about the question and asked, “Are you okay?” 

“What are you doing here? It’s late.” 

“I… um, came to talk to Akiteru about… why do you look upset?” If Tadashi wasn't so concerned with everything going on he probably would have noticed how Kei was trying to avoid the question, but Tadashi was too wrapped up in his own thinking.

No pointing in  _ not _ telling Kei what just happened. It was bound to come out eventually. “Akiteru just asked me to marry him.” 

For a full ten seconds Kei didn’t say anything and Tadashi couldn’t find it in himself to look at him. “Congratulations,” Kei finally said in a calm, neutral voice. “That’s great.” Tadashi’s heart dropped with those words. “But why do you look so upset? You were already engaged to him. Nothing really changed,” Kei continued. 

Tadashi went back on autopilot, too hurt to think about what he really should say. “He doesn’t know me.” 

“Not for long. He’ll remember you,” Kei said while taking a seat next to Tadashi. “I don’t think anyone can really forget you.” Tadashi looked at Kei with sorrowful eyes. Kei was being so nice to him but… if he was trying to tell him something he needed to tell him straight. Tadashi didn’t just need hope at this point. He needed to know how Kei was feeling. “What did you tell him?” 

“Hm?”

“What was your answer to his proposal?” 

“Oh, I told him I needed to think about it.” 

“I see…” Kei seemed conflicted about something. “I’ll… just let you think then,” he said starting to walk towards the elevators. 

“Wait, Tsukki,” Tadashi called after him with a desperate voice. He tried to gain more control over his voice when he spoke again, but it didn’t come out any less desperate.  “Can you give me any reason why I shouldn’t marry Akiteru?” 

Kei stopped, but didn’t turned around to face Tadashi. His body seemed stiff, almost angry, but then in a split second he turned his head just a little to show his smile and said, “Of course not. I want you both to be happy.”  

Now Tadashi felt heart stop. That was it. That was his answer. Kei didn’t feel the same way he did. He didn’t love him. Tadashi couldn’t watch Kei leave and Kei didn’t wait for Tadashi to make any kind of response. He was alone again. It was probably a good thing since he couldn’t control his tears anymore. Kei didn’t have any feelings for him. He had just been imagining it for the past few days. 

Tadashi must have sat alone in the waiting room for hours, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like the pain would never leave. But he needed it to leave. He needed to be okay. He hadn’t been okay for years now. How long much longer could he go on without feeling just okay? How much more of this could he take? 

So he wouldn’t get Kei. He wouldn’t get the guy he was falling for…. but that didn’t mean he had to be without the Sugawaras. He didn’t have to lose his family too. At that moment he couldn’t lose them too. 

 

***

 

“Here.” Tadashi handed Takeda an envelope as soon as he walked into the coffee shop at 5:55 am a day later. The past 24 hours seemed like a blur now. Everything happened so fast, mostly because he wanted to get everything done as fast as possible. He was tired of feeling this way, so uncertain. But that was all about to change. Once they were married everything would be fine. At least that’s what Tadashi was telling himself. 

Plus the Sugawaras were all too happy to help out with the planning even though there wasn’t much to plan. The guest list consisted of only close friends and family. They were getting married at the hospital chapel since Akiteru couldn’t leave yet; and Hitoka was taking care of the cake. Asashi and noya got a few invitations printed yesterday while Shouyou practiced his photography for the ceremony. It seemed like all Tadashi had to do was pick up his suit and show up. Everyone wanted to take part in this one-day-planned wedding. The only person Tadashi hadn’t seen in the past 24 hours was Kei, but Tadashi didn’t want to think too hard about that.

“What is this?” Takeda asked staring the envelope. 

“An invitation for my wedding,” Tadashi said in a monotone voice. He might have had little to nothing to do with the wedding in the past 24 hours, but that didn’t change the fact that a wedding was draining work when you were heartbroken. 

It took a second before Takeda’s mind finally caught up. “You’re getting married?! To who? Tsukki?” 

“His name is Kei. Tsukki is just a nickname. And no, I’m marrying Akiteru,” Tadashi answered.

“The guy in a coma?!” 

“You really need to relax. He’s not in a coma anymore. And he wants to get married.” 

Takeda wasn’t calming down though and it didn’t help much when he actually looked at the invitation. “This says it’s tomorrow! You’re getting married tomorrow?! But you were never engaged to him!” 

Tadashi just sighed. “Well he did ask me to marry him a few days ago, so technically I am now.” 

“He proposed?!” 

“Takeda, it 6 am. Can you please stop yelling?” 

Takeda took a second to really look at Tadashi and must have finally noticed his tired eyes and slumped shoulders. “... What happened with Kei?” He asked in a gentle voice. 

With sad eyes Tadashi looked up at Takeda. For a few seconds he didn’t answer; he wasn’t sure he wanted to. “You know, I’ve spent years reading about how a broken heart feels, how it can tear you apart and leave you feeling lifeless… Nothing I’ve read, none of that, was really enough to describe how it really feels.” 

Takeda took a few hesitant steps towards Tadashi and gently rubbed his back. “Tadashi…?” 

Just then the front door opened and Kageyama walked in much to Tadashi’s relief. He didn’t want to discuss Kei with Takeda anymore. He didn’t want to think about Kei at all. 

“Hey Kageyama how would you like to go to a wedding tomorrow?” Tadashi handed him an invitation. 

Kageyama looked at him with confusion. “But I’m already going… Didn’t Shouyou tell you?” 

“Shouyou?” Tadashi had talked to him yesterday, but he didn’t say anything about Kageyama. 

For some reason Tadashi’s confusion seemed to embarrass Kageyama since he couldn’t seem to keep eye contact with him. “I was already invited… Shouyou, he um, invited me to going with him.” 

“... with him?” 

“We, um, started dating.” Kageyama said the last word so quietly Tadashi wasn’t sure he heard right at first, but the blush the crept up Kageyama’s cheeks was proof enough. How did two guys, who were literally yelling at each other last week, have better luck in a relationship than he was? Then again he was the one getting married tomorrow. So on paper he was the one doing better.

“That’s great! Congratulation, Kageyama!” 

“Tadashi, do you want to talk about—”

“We should open the shop now. It’s past 6,” Tadashi said interrupting Takeda’s attempt to get him to talk about his life. 

“Okay, sure,” Takeda said after a sigh. “Let’s open up.” 

Tadashi was grateful for the distraction, even though Kageyama was looking at the two of them like he was missing something. 

Just one more day and this would all be behind him. He would be married, have an amazing family, and would probably be off planning his honeymoon. Just one more day and he wouldn't be alone anymore.  _ Just one more day.  _

 

***

 

Later that night Kei sat on his bed staring at his phone. More specifically he was staring at a text he had written out, but hadn’t sent yet. He really,  _ really _ wanted to send it, but it wasn’t fair. It was selfish and mean. This one text message could ruin everything between him and Yamaguchi, between him and his family.

Yamaguchi was probably fast asleep anyways, dreaming about the next day when he would officially be married to Akiteru, so Kei couldn’t do this to him… or Akiteru. They deserved to be happy together. So his feelings didn’t matter in this situation. What mattered was that Yamaguchi was going to be happy. After all Kei just wanted him to be happy. 

Slowly Kei backspaced every word he had written out to Yamaguchi and ignored the empty feeling that was left within him. 

 

***

 

He was late. Who was late for their own wedding? Tadashi ran down the street, slipping on a few patches of ice but managing not to fall. He had sleep in. Well actually he had stayed up late the previous night rethinking every decision he had made in the past few weeks. By the time he actually got his brain to calm down long enough for him to fall asleep it was almost time to wake up. Then when he finally did wake up, a full hour later than when he was supposed to, it took him another twenty minutes to convince himself not to skip the wedding altogether since that would probably be much, much worse. 

So now that led to him running to the hospital chapel, hoping he could get there only ten minutes late and not any later. At least he told Shouyou he was on his way since Shouyou had texted him earlier. But that’s all Tadashi could tell him, not that he was rethinking the wedding nor how conflicted he felt. He needed to tell someone. It was eating him up. He _wanted_ to tell Kei, but that wasn’t possible. Either way it wasn’t like he had much time to think about telling anyone. He was going to be married in a matter of minutes. 

Finally Tadashi made it to the chapel, out of breath and hair a little messy, but at least he was there. Tadashi didn’t give himself time to think about what he was doing. He was already late. And sure he should have given himself more time than just a few days to think about marrying a guy he didn’t really know but the Sugawaras were waiting on him. So he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and walked through the door, trying to clear his mind of any other thoughts. He just needed to walk down the aisle and say I do then he would be part of the Sugawaras. That’s all and he would have a family again.  

But then Tadashi opened his eyes and he saw everyone looking at him. They were all smiling at him like it was the best day of their lives. Like they were happy he was there. Like they couldn’t wait for him to officially be theirs. 

Tadashi stood frozen for a second staring at everyone… everyone he loved and cared for, everyone he was deceiving. And they weren’t looking at him with impatient looks due to his tardiness. They were smiling at him at. They wanted this. But they didn’t know the truth. 

Still it was time for him to get married. He ran out of time to get the truth out. But Tadashi couldn’t stop himself from wondering when he really let go of ever telling them the truth. When Kei said he should marry Akiteru? When Akiteru proposed? New Year’s? Christmas? Or the first time they hugged him at the hospital that first day? 

Tadashi slowly walked down the aisle. It wasn’t like he meant for it to be special. No one was walking with him, he was just trying to get to Akiteru who was waiting for him at the other end of the chapel. But as he was walking his eyes didn’t focus on Akiteru; they couldn’t focus on anyone really. They scanned the room, looking at Suga and Daichi holding hands, Shouyou blinding him with the flash from his camera and Kageyama next to him telling him to calm down, Hitoka starting to tear up as she watched him, Noya and Asahi sitting in front excitedly waiting for it to start. Tanaka giving at him with a questioning looking, almost as if he was asking Tadashi if this was what he truly wanted. 

Finally he gathered the courage he needed to look towards the front to see Akiteru, but again his eyes couldn’t focus on him. This time it was because of Kei standing right next to Akiteru, refusing to look at him or Akiteru or anywhere but the floor. 

After what felt like the longest walk of his life Tadashi made it to the front still trying to get Kei to look at him. The minister started talking, but Tadashi couldn’t hear a word of it, not when Kei was looking anywhere but at him. Why wouldn’t he look at him? Why did he look so upset? 

_ Why won’t Kei just look at me so I know I’m not making a mistake?! _

With that one thought it was like Tadashi finally woke up from this nightmare where he was justifying his action, as if what he was doing was okay. It wasn’t okay. He was about to marry a guy he barely knew, who didn’t know him at all, for an incredibly selfish reason. He shouldn’t need Kei to show him that he was making a mistake, not when what he was doing was so clearly a mistake. 

“I can’t do this,” Tadashi said quietly, so quietly the only ones who heard him were Akiteru and Kei. This was clear since Akiteru had an obvious look of relief and Kei was finally looking at him. Tadashi didn’t get to chance to think about why Kei had such a desperate look on his face. If he was going to do this, really do this, then he needed to do it fast, like he should have that first night. 

The minister was still talking, but it didn’t matter what he was saying. This wedding wasn’t going to happen. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” Tadashi said a little louder stopping the minister now. 

Everyone was quiet for a few moments. “Yamaguchi, what’s wrong?” Suga asked cutting the tension Tadashi created. 

Tearing his eyes away from Kei, Tadashi looked towards everyone sitting before him, everyone he was finally going to stop lying to and, thus, lose.   

“I can’t go through with this. It’s all been a lie.” 

“What do you mean? What’s going on?” Akiteru asked understandably confused. Everyone looked confused. Of course they would be. They would have never guessed that the nice guy they met a few weeks ago had been lying to them. 

“I was never engaged to you. It’s all been a lie from the very beginning,” Tadashi said slowly to make sure everyone heard. 

“What?” Kei spoke in a harsh voice. 

“That day at the hospital… things got a little confusing. Someone told the doctors I was Akiteru’s fiancé and… I just couldn’t…” 

“Wait, so when I woke up and they said I was engaged to you… none of that was true?” Akiteru  asked stunned. 

“...That’s correct.” 

“You lied to me?” Kei whispered to Tadashi even though Tadashi couldn’t look at him. 

Everyone else was quiet, too shocked to speak. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get this far.” Tears were starting to gather in Tadashi’s eyes. Tanaka gave him a sad smile, but no one else was looking at him. 

“You lied to me. Why didn’t you just tell me?” Kei said clearly upset. 

“I didn’t know how… I didn’t want it to end.” 

“For what to end? Your engagement?! Your wedding?!” Kei shouted. While everyone else held their shock in, it seemed Kei couldn’t. 

“No, no,” Tadashi said trying to hold back sobs now. “I didn’t want this to disappear.” He gestured to everyone sitting before him. “I went from being all alone to being a brother, a son, a nephew. I didn’t want that to disappear.” 

Kageyama looked at him with pity in his eyes. Shouyou was starting to tear up. 

“I’m so sorry,” Tadashi said one more time before running out the door. The heavy tears were coming now. There was no way to stop this. There was shouting behind him, the sounds he’d gotten use to hear at Sugawara’s house. But it didn’t matter anymore; he wasn’t apart of it anymore. He wasn’t family. 

But that didn’t seem to be good enough for Kei. “Why didn’t you just fucking tell me?!” He yelled in the hallway, so loud Tadashi stopped just from the shock of it. 

“I told you,” he said through sobs. “I...I just didn’t want to lose everyone.” 

“But me?! You couldn’t tell me?!” 

“... I'm sorry” Tadashi didn’t know what else to say. There wasn’t really anything else he could say. What he did was bad and obviously he’d hurt Kei in the process. 

“Why didn't you just say something?! The night at the bar?! New Years?! When he proposed?! You could have just told me!”

“You don’t get it. You still would have been this upset and I would have lost everyone so much sooner.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense! Nothing you do makes sense! Just like your fucking bookstore! What are you waiting for?!” 

That was it. Tadashi couldn’t take it. Sadness and regret turned into angry quickly. Before Tadashi could stop himself he was yelling back at Kei. “You don’t get it! You don’t know what it’s like to be completely alone! To be so scared and not having anyone to fall back on! To help you! To comfort you! You don’t know what it’s like to have no one tell ‘It’s going to be okay’ when you feel like you’re drowning. You went straight to the Sugawaras after your parents died! And you had Akiteru! But I’ve been alone for years! After this you get walk back into that room and have a family! And I’ll go home alone! Yes, I’m an adult and I should be stronger than this now! But I’m not! So when I was given a family again I just didn’t want to let it go!... I didn’t want to let it go…” Tadashi was back to sobbing. And after a few seconds the regret was back. He shouldn’t have said that, any of that, but especially the part about his parents. He knew how much Kei missed them. 

At least Kei was quiet now. But the way he was looking at him… Tadashi couldn’t take it. “I’m so sorry,” Tadashi said one last time before he ran out the door. No intention of seeing any of them ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. It'll get better in the next chapter!! The last chapter!! But I also have the daisuga prequel I need to post and I'm thinking about writing a Tanaka dabble that would take place between the daisuga prequel and the main story. And maybe another dabble about when Tsukki and Akiteru first went to the Sugawaras. I probably will, but we’ll see. 
> 
> So unfortunately chapter 8 is probably going to take some time. I have _a lot_ going on right now. I already have the beginning of the chapter written, but the rest will probably take some time. I’m sorry to leave you with such a cliffhanger!!
> 
> I was thinking of posting the beginning of the next chapter as a separate chapter, but it’ll only about 1000 words so I’m not sure. But at least you won’t be left with a complete downer for weeks/ a month. Ugh I’m not sure. Let me know what y’all think. 
> 
> [Snowbunny-yukito](http://snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com/)


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